Other Things Carly Rae Jepsen Would Be Crazy to Give You

Carly Rae Jepsen, aka nega-Swift, is all over the airwaves with her infectious single,”Call Me Maybe” (it burns with pop hooks!). But just look at those sparkling peepers and ivory skin, nobody would be crazy to take her number. But you know, it would be crazy is if she gave you:

 

Puppies

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Dang it Carly, puppies aren’t presents! They are an adorable commitment!

 

A Brown Recluse Spider

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OH DEAR GOD WHY!? Just let them be reclusive and stay home and not turn my flesh into jelly!

 

Subprime Loans

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Has she learned nothing from the current financial crisis? Jeeze, buy a clue Canada.

 

The Iron Throne

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You either win the Game of Thrones or you die - I like living! Thanks but no thanks.

 

Refined Plutonium

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OK Carly, now you’re just being reckless. What if this fell into the wrong hands? Hands hovering over buttons. Shiny, red buttons. Enticing us to just push it once and – oh crap there goes Finland.

 

A Hulk

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She has a Hulk. Er, she DID have a Hulk.

 

What crazy things would you accept from Carly Rae if it meant getting her number? Is it mono? I bet it’s mono. If it’s not mono let us know in the comments!

 

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