Our Least Favorite Things About Making Out With Donkey Kong

Donkey Kong is a big hearted guy who always pays for dinner. But there is a downside to going out with Donkey Kong, as anyone who has gone out with him will tell you. He's not the best kisser. Here are a couple reasons why:

 

1. His Mouth Is Too Strong

He has the strength of an adult male Gorrilla, so if he gets too excited he often forgets his own strength and shatter most of the teeth in your mouth. It's like making out with a tractor.

 

2. He Cries

Donkey Kong is way too emotional. He gets way grateful about making out and he tries not to cry but that just makes him cry harder.

 

3. He Always Asks "How He Did" Afterwards

Man, I swear, the self esteem issues with Donkey Kong. "Yeah Donkey you did really good. No you didn't use too much tongue. Yes, I appreciate you finding those lice in my scalp while we kissed."

 

4. He Tastes Like Insects and Bananas

Apes live on a diet that consists mainly of insects and bananas. We can't count the number of times we've been making out with Donkey Kong only to have to stop in the middle to pick flecks of beetle shell out of our mouth.

 

5. He Refuses To Take Off His Tie During Out Make Out Sessions

Donkey Kong seems to think if he takes his tie off the damn world will end. But the material is very coarse and it leaves a rash.

 

6. He Makes Diddy Kong Watch

I don't know what he's trying to teach Diddy Kong but I wish he would stop. But he won't stop.

 

What are some  things you hate about making out with Donkey Kong? Let us know in the comments!

 

Check out this Math Teacher that holds a Donkey Kong record!