5 Painfully Embarrassing Puberty Memories
Before we were all the beautiful butterflies we are today, we went through that disgusting cocoon phase called puberty. That’s the time when your carefree childhood world is suddenly ravaged by hormones. While I’m sure most of us would like to burn all photos from that time and pretend it never happened, I prefer to remember where we came from. Here are some of the most painfully embarrassing puberty moments.
5. Aunt Flow Comes to Visit
During puberty, your body gets the memo that you’re growing up way before your mind does. Thus, mere mosquito bites suddenly grow into A-cups and hair starts growing literally everywhere. For girls, the icing on the cake is getting your period for the first time, which never seems to happen gracefully. My first period came right in the middle of my 6th grade science class, and I had to waddle all the way to the nurse with my friend’s sweater around my waist – it totally covered my bedazzled jeans! Luckily the sanitary napkins soaked up the blood... and my dignity.
4. Your Voice Cracks
Around the same time a girl starts getting her period, a guy’s voice deepens by at least a million octaves. However, there’s also that dreadful transitional period when your voice cracks so much that you sound like you’ve got your own personal autotune mic. A preteen boy once sang a solo at my church, and his voice cracked so loudly, I swear it busted a stained glass window.
One thing girls and guys both experience during puberty is the raging hormone monster. It could suddenly make you wonder what it would feel like to shove your tongue down your best friend’s throat. You’re feeling all of the feelings, and it’s impossible for your tween brain to understand what they all mean. And then suddenly, you forget how to just talk like a regular person. This is the exact moment that kids started standing on the wall at middle school dances instead of coming within 50 feet of the opposite sex, and spending an hour to craft a text that just says, “Hey”. Talking is hard.
Seemingly overnight, you go from porcelain skin to pizza face, and there’s nothing the Proactiv can do about it. Getting puberty acne is something fierce, not only because they’re pimples, but because they’re your first pimples and you have no idea how to get rid of them all. And from there, you try acne creams and cleansers, then toothpaste, then Crisco, then prayer, and still end up with a giant zit on a prominent part of your face. This always teds to happen precisely six hours before you’re supposed to take yearbook photos. And thus, you’re destined to remember your middle school self as one big pimple.
1. You First Kiss
Your first kiss might be the most embarrassing moment of all. It might’ve been with that person you were crushing on for months, but was most likely with the first person that was willing to put their mouth on your mouth. And since your only kissing partner up until that point was your pillow, it probably didn’t go smoothly. You bump foreheads and noses, use too much tongue, try to suck the other person’s lips off, and you have no idea what to do with your hands. But when you were 13, or whichever age, you probably went back to your friends after and excitedly told them every detail. You were so happy to have finally reached that smooching milestone, and you used that experience to become the kissing expert you are today. Because although all of these moments were cringe-worthy, they were all a part of your metamorphosis, you beautiful butterfly.
Remember any other embarrassing moments? Let us know on Twitter @Smosh!