Part-Time Jobs That Make You More Attractive
In these hard economic times (I hate that phrase), finding a decent job can be tough. Lots of us are scraping by with part-time work, hoping our elders don’t bring up topics like “opportunities for growth,” “intentional career trajectory,” or “who’s paying for your health insurance?” As long as you’re still figuring things out, might as well get your love life in order; invest in a part-time job that’ll make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Here are some of the best shifts to pick up if you’re hoping to pick up (the OTHER kind. get it?).
Obviously. Who doesn’t have a Wendy Peffercorn complex? And people will be more willing to approach you because they’ll always be able to rationalize your interaction. So if you completely blow them off, it’s because someone was drowning or something. Had to be.
Trader Joe’s Cashier
Announcing that you work at Trader Joe’s means someone has vetted you as having an awesome personality. You probably make everyone around you feel good about themselves and their food-choosing abilities. Just don’t bring those nacho-flavored kale chips on a first date, and you’re golden.
People are excited to get to know you because your facial recognition means they’ve been following through on some New Year’s resolutions. Also, most people think it’s a rule that only physically fit people can hang out in a gym. So even if you look out of shape, it’s just an optical illusion and/or you have the resources to fix yourself.
The people you interact with are usually on vacation from a foreign country, which makes you and your-proximity-to-their-bed the ideal exotic fling. Combine that with your cultivated knowledge of the local party scene, and bam, you should have a stable flow of commitment free hookups for the duration of your employment.
Apple Store Employee
You got that Genius Bar swag. You’re all up in her computer like, is this desktop pic of you and your boyfriend? Oh? Well can he do this? And then RAM her and make all her processor problems go away. And if she actually needs a new laptop, she might date you for the employee discount alone.
”Emergency medical technician” is the ideal thing to be able to say you do. You get the props for being a “caring,” “intelligent,” and “capable” person, but you’re not as busy as, like, a doctor-doctor. Plus, when it comes down to it, everyone’s worried about whether or not they’ll die a choking death living alone (see 30 Rock), which makes dating you more attractive than remaining single. And when all’s said and done, that’s all we’re asking for, isn’t it?
What other part-time jobs do you think make a person more attractive? Let us know in the comments!