People You Wouldn't Believe Used To Work As Storm Troopers

Storm Trooper isn't a hard job to get. The empire always needs new Storm Troopers seeing as how Jedis are always getting up in their grills and acing them. Most of the time Storm Troopers are pulled from poor people who need money for college, or enlist to get away from a bad situation, but every now and again someone unexpected applies for the gig. Here below is a list of some of the most unexepected Storm Troopers of all:

 

Burt, From Burt's Bees

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He makes great chapstick, but that doesn't satisfy Burt's killing hunger. An adrenaline junky, Burt is never truly happy unless he can smell the sweet laser-burnt flesh of of his enemy all around him.

 

Stitch

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Stitch is always hungry. And there's no better endless food supply than rebel corpses.

 

Taylor Lautner

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Taylor joined because he thought it would help his film career if he seemed more patriotic, but he scored so low on the Storm Trooper aptitude test that the only Storm Trooper job he could get was "Assistant Breakfast Janitor."

 

Barack Obama

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Someone has to lead the Empire. Although some of the Empire Higher Ups were mad about him repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and letting in openly gay citizens into the Storm Troopers. "Although," Emperor Obama argued in response to conservative fears of gays making it uncomfortable in the trenches, "It's pretty hard to check a guy out when he's got 140 pounds of plastic on."

 

Demetri Martin

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Strange. Emotionless. Robotic. Demetri Martin actually fits in perfectly with the Storm Troopers. He's so incapable of human facial expressions that he often accidentally gets put in with the clone army.

 

The Charmin Ultra Baby Bear

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His mother got tired of him using all the damn toilet paper all the time to make his ass*ole softer so she shipped off to fight space wars.

 

Steve Carell

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Very few people know this, but Han Solo once ditched Steve Carell's sister at the alter. He's been on the hunt for Han ever since, and there's no better place to hunt Han than at the tip of the spear of the Empire.

 

What other unexpected people are Storm Troopers? Let us know in the comments!

 

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