Pervy Pirate Pick-Up Lines!
Pirates of the Caribbean 4 is coming out this weekend and while fans of the franchise couldn’t be more excited, its release leaves real pirates feeling poxed! Every time this franchise reboots, ladies go looking for some hot pirates. But instead of finding Captain Jack Sparrow or Will Turner they get the rude awakening that most pirates are more like Captain Hector Barbossa—only uglier.
So to make life a little easier for pirates, I came up with some fail-proof pick up lines that’ll have even the most unfortunate mugs swimming with wenches in no time!
One Look At You And A Shiver Went Up Me Timber
She’d better surrender…because it’s about to be all hands on deck!
I’ll Let You In On A Big Secret…That’s No Peg Leg
Make sure she doesn’t tell the other ladies or you might start a mutiny!
I Sure Would Like To Pillage Your Booty!
Blimey! That’s what she gets when she wears pants with a giant X on the butt!
It Would Make Me Jolly If We Could Rodger
You see, it's not just Santa who can be jolly!
You’re Guilty Of Being A Hot Wench…I Sentence You To Walking My Plank
Yeah… ye may be a sea-dawg but ye do have a way with words!
I Got A Bad Case Of Scurvy…And Your Grapefruits Are The Only Cure
Just a warning for the ladies. Better beware! Pirates get angry when they find out your citrus is full of silicon and not vitamin C!
Wanna Come Back To My Home Port And See My Dock?
That's one huge dock!
Well Call Me A Landlubber, ‘Cause I’m About To Plunder Your Treasure Island
Ladies know that landlubbers can be a bit clumsy…so promise her you’ll be gentle when you dig.
Imma Cut To The Chase…You Wanna Hook-Up?
Hey it’s the end of the night. She can’t expect you to try that hard when all that’s left is a girl with a sunken chest.
I Hope You Like To Matey, Because I’m About To Swab Your Deck
Every girl has a cabin boy fantasy!
Is That A Cutlass In Your Pants Or AArrrrrrrrrrrr You Just Happy To See Me Treasure Chest?
And one for the lady pirates. But who are we kidding? Pirates love a wench that shares her doubloons! Wenches have no trouble landing a first mate.
Yo Ho! Bottle Of Rum? Drink Up Cause We're About To Get Swashbuckled!
You may sound like the son of a biscuit-eater but this is actually the pirate equivalent of wining and dining a girl. Bonus points if you splurge on Malibu rum!
What’s your favorite pirate pick-up line? Let us know in the comments!