Places to Break Up That'll Make It Easier
Listen, guys, I'm not made of stone! I get it, breaking up is hard! But like a lollipop can make a shot at the doctor's office okay, breaking up in a fun place, that might also act as a metaphor for your relationship, can be helpful and not at all condescending. Here are some places to go that will make breaking up a lot easier.
It's the happiest place on Earth! And since you're about to make her the saddest person on Earth, those emotions should just even it all out. That day, everyone at Disneyland will walk away thinking it's the middlest place on Earth.
Chuck E. Cheese
Sometimes it's easier to not say the hurtful thing out loud. So one way to make it clear that you're ending things is to shout "come and find me!" at Chuck E. Cheese and jump into the ball pit. She'll look, but she won't ever find you, because you snuck out over an hour ago. Then she'll realize that she spent this entire relationship looking for you even though you were nowhere to be found.
"Hmm." She'll say aloud. "Hmmmm."
Green Day concert
By the time they get to the "But in the end it's right" part of Time of Your Life, she'll know. Point of fact: no couple has ever listened to that song together and not immediately and amicably broken up.
Being broken up with is hardly a problem when there are giants and wolves attacking you. In fact, breaking up in Skyrim just gives her +10 to strength. Emotional strength. So really you're just helping her level up. Great job!
The Dog Pound
Suggest that if she gets herself a dog, then at least there'll be something that will never leave her.
Five Guys Burgers
"Have you tried their bacon cheeseburger? It's really great. Maybe when you find a new boyfriend you can suggest it to him. Anyhow, gotta go."
Christmas Time Village down at the Mall
Make sure you're ahead of her in line so when you sit on Santa's lap and he asks what you want, she'll be nice and close to ehar you say "someone who fulfils my emotional needs." With a face of stone, Santa will then turn and stare at her. And that staring may never stop.
Where do you go to break up? Let us know in the comments!