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Pop Singers I EASILY Could Out-Sing

Posted By: Mikey McCollor on 08.24.11

LISTEN UP. I am a good singer. A GREAT SINGER. I got a voice that the angels say makes them quiver in their angel boots. So of course, it makes me right angry to see some of the dowdy untalented singers going Gold and Platinum and even BRONZE with their records when I ain't even had one YouTube hit. So in an attempt to vent some of this incredible rage I feel, I'm going to talk to y'all about all the goddamn pop singers I can out-sing with my tough-as-nails MAN VOICE.

Kelly Clarkson

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You'll like my singin' way more than this Kelly Clarkson kids' because my music is made with RAW EMOTION and INTENSITY. None o' that sappy sentimentality. You say you're not going to forget where you came from when you break away? WELL I SURE AS HELL WILL. You can go right to HELL Osseo, Minnesota!

Katy Perry

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Now you listen and listen good, Katy Perry: Not everything has to be all goofy and ironic, all right? Your audience can't form an emotional attachment to you because you don't take nothin' seriously! Believe you me, if you pick up my single off o' iTunes, it'll be as SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK. I say that because most people who have listened to my single off o' iTunes had themselves a heart attack.

Britney Spears

(source)

Hearin' Britney Spears sing is like hearin' a robot say it loves you. There's nothing technically wrong with it but you can somehow hear that there ain't a soul in the creature makin' that noise. And that is damn uncomfortable. On the other hand, I have a CALM, SOOTHING EFFECT on my listeners. I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU BE LISTENIN' TO MY MUSIC YOU WILL BE AT EASE.

Rihanna

(source)

Rihanna is the worst damn singer I ever did hear. Honest to God that voice sounds like someone stepped on a cat while they were scratching their nails on a chalkboard made of stepped-on cats. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW A CHALKBOARD MADE OUTTA STEPPED-ON CATS WOULD FUNCTION. That's how angry Rihanna's stupid moron voice makes me.

Nah. I'm just sayin' that 'cause I'm jealous of that "Ooh na na na na" song. That is a GOOD song.

Ke$ha

(source)

Here's my problem with Ke$ha - she ain't singin', she's whinin'. She be usin' that annoying voice girls use when they make duckfaces or try an get they boyfriends to give 'em the phone they just bought. I want Ke$ha to grow out of that mindset and take some BUSINESS CLASSES.

Taylor Swift

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I got me a huge problem with Taylor Swift. Not only does her voice sound like she's singing through a tin can with a string from her tree house, but her lyrics, especially in "Love Story", don't make a damn lick of sense! Don't you even get me started on Taylor Swift's "Love Story" lyrics!

Goin' into this song we've got to suppose it's a Romeo and Juliet metaphor, right? So if your daddy says "stay away from Juliet" that implies that he UNDERSTANDS THE METAPHOR. Now, Romeo and Juliet is a story about kids who are in love and their IDIOT parents who keep 'em apart. If'n your daddy is in on it, HE IS CALLING HIMSELF AN IDIOT.

And then we have "you were Romeo/ I was your Scarlet Letter"? The Scarlet Letter is a whole 'nother book! Taylor Swift, you're either writin' a song that's about Romeo and Juliet or you're writin' a song about literature in general, and at that point you GOT to add at least a third book to drive home your point! Here, I'll help you even:

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone/

A Tale of Two Cities that our parents do not condone/

Don't be afraid like in Slaughterhouse Five/

Illiad, Odysee, The Hitchhiker's Guide

And also- "I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress"? That's it? Your daddy just wanted to talk to the guy before he would sign off on a marriage? That was how the problem was solved? Him changin' his mind on the fly? That's just poor storytellin.'

Finally, THIS AIN'T HOW ROMEO AND JULIET ENDED. It was much more frightenin' and poignant than all that. I'm beginning to think that this song ain't from the perspective of Juliet of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet but just from a girl who happens to be named Juliet falling for a man who happens to be named Romeo. Which is the goddamn dumbest thing I ever did hear.

GRAH. I SAID DON'T GET ME STARTED ON TAYLOR SWIFT'S "LOVE STORY" LYRICS.

O-Town

(source)

You guys remember O-Town? DAMN RIGHT YOU DON'T. I'll make damn sure you remember me. Oh. You'll remember me all right.

Lock your door.

NOW YOU. Who are some pop singers you think I can out-sing? List them, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER, in the comments.

Check Out Former US Presidents I could have KICKED THE CRAP OUT OF!

Tags: britney spears, katy perry, kesha, music, o-town, pop, Rihanna, taylor swift

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69 Comments

Post new comment

zeldakatz489

13 weeks ago

i bet i can outsing you :P

Chris Kirkpatrick

15 weeks ago

Okay, first, while i agree with what you're saying most the way, some of this is bull. Kelly can sing, she's got an extremely powerful voice she can use rather well. Now taylor swifts "love song", i agree, ridiculous song. But Romeo and Juliet is not a book, it is a play. I felt like saying that, but i have some interesting stuff to add. I think it's hilarious she's singing a song about a love story, and calls herself a book about a woman being alienated for being an ADULTERER, makes no sense, a

Dexya

16 weeks ago

I'll betcha you could outsing Justin Bieber AND Rebecca Black.

924halle

16 weeks ago

I don't know who you can out sing, but I bet you can out bitch Charlie Sheen.

AQHA

31 weeks ago

HEY I LIVE IN MINNESOTA!!! If we go to hell your coming with us.

dark_blue_guitar

36 weeks ago

I think Taylor Swift is a great singer...and she's country...not pop...obviously...just saying...

patriciamonsoon

38 weeks ago

wtf the only bad singers are kesha britney and kety perry!!

Laserbeam898

38 weeks ago

Justin bieber
Hannah Montanah
rebbecca black

jinlong

38 weeks ago

@sk1307 calm down, have you heard of a joke? plus, taylor swift is only famous 'cuz people think shes hot

HomebrewFox

39 weeks ago

I think most of us can sing better than Kesha.... After she's been autotuned.

Queeniex

39 weeks ago

Justin bieber
Lady Gaga
Rebecca black

ANYONE CAN OUT SING THEM :D

MetallicAngel

39 weeks ago

What about Rebecca Black??!!!

xXJulieXx

39 weeks ago

LOL @sk1307 being an angry 10 year old who doesn't understand anything remotely funny and loves T-Swizzle way to much.

The Jassi-frick...

39 weeks ago

I can't find any of MIKEY'S FRAKIN' MUSIC!!!

SnapeLovesLily

39 weeks ago

boring boring boring. At lease P!nk wasnt in here because you would be completely mental if you think you can out sing P!nk

MadMuffin07

39 weeks ago

sk1307: You need to relax! It's obviously a joke! You're 11 and swearing? Wow. And Taylor Swift isn't the best singer in the world.

skoolboiandkillux

39 weeks ago

@Flexar its to bad i cant like star or thumbs up your comment

smoshfan1ooo

39 weeks ago

XD Calm the f*ck down! Its just a joke your being such a baby!

sk1307

39 weeks ago

YOUR A FRIGGIN SELF CENTERED BITCH ANYONE WHO BUYS UR SHIT SUCKS BALLS LIKE U AND UR JUST JEALOUS THAT MOST OF THESE PEOPLE CAN SING BETTER THAN YOU ESPECIALLY TAYLOR SWIFT SHES AWESOME AND HER LYRICS DONT SUCK YOU DOOOOOOOOOOO !!!

JackRussell111

39 weeks ago

Anybody can out-sing Justin Bieber.

Discussion over.

AmethystRose1

39 weeks ago

Lady Gaga for sure

tennischic434

39 weeks ago

For the record, not everyone has forgotten O-Town. I listened to them in my car yesterday. Their first CD and I own both.

tennischic434

39 weeks ago

For the record, not everyone has forgotten O-Town. I listened to them in my car yesterday. Their first CD and I own both.

Flexar

39 weeks ago

Rebbeca Black could be outsung by a dog.

GINGEROCRAZY

39 weeks ago

I agree, Taylor Swift is bleh.
You, my boy, have talent.

MetallicAngel

39 weeks ago

I agree i freaking hate Rihanna & Katy Perry

Chippie98

39 weeks ago

Taylor Swift is a great songwriter and singer!!!!!!!

marbles96

39 weeks ago

I love Taylor Swift, but 'Love Story' just made me cringe. It's okay until the ''Cause you were Romeo I was a Scarlett Letter".. I was like, "THAT'S HESTOR PRINN NOT JULIET."
Thank you for acknowledging that as well. :D

FanpireFangs

39 weeks ago

I agree with muffingirl337

ePiC_fAiL998

39 weeks ago

ok ok ok...i agree with u on all of these but NOT taylot swift:) she's awesome!! and she sounds great live...but besides that, u could deffinatley out-sing everyone on this list :)

Lugga

39 weeks ago

You're a very talented singer.

GrayRainbow22

39 weeks ago

Why Don't you Put a video of YOU SINGING, love story with your own lyrics, andthen have us vote on the best, you or the pop stars. ( hint you forgot Lady GAGA, Miley Cyrus, and Jackie Evancho)

VinM

39 weeks ago

you forgot Miley Cirus!

Portugalovers

39 weeks ago

Ke$ha and Lady Gaga :)

LimeRadio

39 weeks ago

Kelly Clarkson doesn’t belong on this list. She can sing fine.
The rest range from mediocre to straight up embarrassing live though. And some, *cough*Ke$ha*cough*, are even hard to listen to auto-tuned. >_<

bam31996

39 weeks ago

Oh my gosh, this article cracked me up big time! Hahahah.

crazydonkey145

39 weeks ago

omg katy perry's b00bs r relly close to falling out...

George Lopez

39 weeks ago

i think its all right until Katy Perry being goofy and funny doesnt mean your a bad singer.(: and she can be seriouse you just havnt heard her other song that arent on the radio like pearl or not like the movies

George Lopez

39 weeks ago

bubblebloop

39 weeks ago

You're so modest.

superfucker

39 weeks ago

i'd ask why justin beiber isn't on this,but then i remeberd that he doesn't sing

ilovelovelovean...

39 weeks ago

at least give tswift props that shes one of the most sucessful artist of all time and she's still fully clothed ...JUST SAYIN'

ilovelovelovean...

39 weeks ago

woah woah woahhhhhhhhhhhhh dont make fun of tswizzle...i mean people have differant opinions but atleast give her props that shes one of the most sucessful artist of all time and she's still fully clothed ...JUST SAYIN'

ilovelovelovean...

39 weeks ago

lfn102

39 weeks ago

I agree with everything...ESPECIALLY TAYLOR SWIFT

UnicornSwag

39 weeks ago

Not Kelly... she's way outta their league!

UnicornSwag

39 weeks ago

Not Kelly... she's way outta their league!

UnicornSwag