Presents Rich People Buy Their Kids For Christmas
There is almost nothing as powerful as the love of a parent for a child, except for my father's love of nothing. When those parents have a lot of money, they tend to let their feelings get out of hand. Here are some of the craziest gifts rich parents have bought their kids:
Gold Game Boy ($30,000)
Some crazy rich parent out there must have a good sense of humor, otherwise this thing wouldn't exist. There's something beautiful about a machine that, despite being coated in 18K gold and diamonds, is still incapable of playing Pokemon in color.
Diamond Pacifier ($17,000)
Diamonds are the hardest substance known to man, which makes them an excellent choice for soothing babies. There are 278 diamonds in this pacifier, and not one of them is a substitute for love.
Ferrari 612 Scagletti ($500,000)
David Beckham bought one of these for his newborn daughter, who, like most newborns, can't drive. This reminds me of the time I gave my paper shredder $500,000, only to learn that my paper shredder neither had any use for it nor even understood what ownership meant. At least I have a bunch of green confetti. David Beckham just has another thing to make his maids clean baby poop off of.
"Tumble Outpost" ($122,730)
This is a whole playground made for one incredibly lonely child. Do you ever wish you could spend the amount of money a struggling middle class family might save up for their entire lives on a plaything that mocks the concept of "home" and therefore their dreams? Well now you can! And it's all thanks to the d-bags at the incredibly d-baggishly named website PoshTots.com. Wealth is cruelty.
Diamond Spoon ($1,230)
If you try to use this to feed your child, he or she will literally choke on irony.
Are you a capitalist pawn? Let us know in the comments!