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The Psychological Diseases of Disney Princesses

Posted By: Mikey McCollor on 08.05.11

Everyone loved the Disney movies growing up. And because we love them so much, it’s become our unfortunate duty to point out that, well, a lot of the Disney Princesses are less than stable. We’re not talking about the fun disorder where you imagine everyone around you sings all the time. No, they all have that disease and we’ve come to accept it. We’re talking about some much, much more frightening diseases. Here are the psychological disorders of Disney princesses.

Sleeping Beauty - Hypersomnia

(source)

Sleeping Beauty clearly suffers from Hypersomnia, a condition characterized by being excessively sleepy all the time. Treatments for Hypersomnia include clondine, levodopa, and the kisses of handsome, wealthy gentlemen.

Pochahontas – Social Anxiety Disorder

(source)

Pochahontas has such strong social anxiety disorder that she actively worked against the creation of society.

Belle - Kleptomania

(source)

Although it wasn’t greatly covered in the movie, Belle definitely entered the castle not to find her father but to loot the hell out of the place. It became a greater challenge than she had anticipated, though, as the candlestick holder she wanted to knick could talk.

Ariel - Schizophrenia

(source)

One way of analyzing the Little Mermaid is to suspect that Ariel never became human in the first place and was only having visions of entering the human world. This is a natural reaction to having a father as overbearing as Ariel’s, the only way to cope is to become a Part Of Their World, as it were.

Cinderella – Dependant Personality Disorder

(source)

Cinderella has defined her personality based on what other people see in her. To her step-sisters, a maid. To the prince, a princess. These personality types have no idea how to define themselves when they’re by themselves. They tend to just scream and write “Tell me who I am” on their face in marker.

Alice – Chemical Dependancy

(source)

Alice’s chemical dependancy comes from whatever pain she’s experienced in her life. Whatever it takes to get to “Wonderland”, am I right Alice? The unfortunate part is, she won’t even listen to anyone who cares about her because she only takes advice from purple-striped cats. Whatever that means.

Jasmine – Chronic Overtrust

(source)

When a street rat offers you his hand and says “Do you trust me?” the answer should always be “Of course not. You are a street rat.” Clearly, Jasmine has excessive trust issues, especially when she unequivocally buys Aladdin’s story about being a rich person who pretends to be poor sometimes. Why would he do that? For the lulz? They hadn’t even invented lulz yet back then, Jasmine!

Have you noticed any troubling symptoms in any other Disney princesses? For their sake, let us know in the comments.

Check Out 10 Messed Up Disney GIFs!

Tags: ariel, belle, cinderella, disney, jasmine, pochahontas, princess

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53 Comments

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stephyslim

10 weeks ago

Okay seriosuly, with the whole Ariel thing, im Schizophanc and thats not funny to me...

TMNTurtle22

16 weeks ago

Why the firetruck is picture of Ariel giving me a boner?

CottonKandi

16 weeks ago

the picture of ariel looks like me whenever i forget to study

mrs.padilla9210

16 weeks ago

OMG SO WEIRD I LOVE THE ARTICLE THOUGH

Strawberrypae

21 weeks ago

You forgot Rapunzel. She has agoraphobia, fear of leaving her house.

vickyr662

34 weeks ago

The arial one is crack up :P

MrsLedZepper

40 weeks ago

I would have thought Ariel was a hoarder, what with having a whole grotto filled with useless human crap ><

Anonymous

41 weeks ago

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41 weeks ago

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41 weeks ago

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smosheox9142

41 weeks ago

HaHaHa

dgaxel

41 weeks ago

I LMAO´d when i read alice- chemical dependancy XD

Anonymous

41 weeks ago

xXCydonianKnightXx

41 weeks ago

Hmmm.... I'd say that Belle is victim of Stockholm Syndrome.

TonitheHuru

41 weeks ago

This material is gold XD

Anonymous

41 weeks ago

gkjand

41 weeks ago

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foxmaster

41 weeks ago

SO TRUE for Alladin XD

FoxGlove

41 weeks ago

You missed how the seven dwarves are symptoms of drug use.

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41 weeks ago

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Haronks

41 weeks ago

I Think Alice used Drugs.Enuff said

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41 weeks ago

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41 weeks ago

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patchypyrate

41 weeks ago

but they all suffer anorexea and problems with hiding their d*cks.

clararoxlol

41 weeks ago

alice isn't a princess. dumb@sses. XD

CCGPrincess99

41 weeks ago

i clearly suffer from hypersomnia also. It starts the first day of summer and is cured every year by the first day of school at 8:30 am.

CCGPrincess99

41 weeks ago

Well actually I guess I clearly suffer from Hypersomnia too. It starts on the first day of summer and my cure is the first day of school at 9 am.

HunnieBunnieP

41 weeks ago

Well, Ariel clearly suffers from Kleptomania. I mean, look at her cave. Full off stolen gods.

ibeawesomenolie

41 weeks ago

Alice is not a Disney princess

amanojaku

41 weeks ago

There goes my childhood.

brandon37062

41 weeks ago

want to know whats funny smosh lover gets the hell of

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41 weeks ago

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coeny9

41 weeks ago

Sleeping Beauty - narcolepsy

DylanSilveira

41 weeks ago

Hahahaha!! Awesome!!.. Belles should be beastiality lmao!!

Anonymous

41 weeks ago

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TheRobAlva

41 weeks ago

Not to be a negative Nancy but- screw it. Did you guys take inspiration from Cracked.com?

Killjoy21

41 weeks ago

ariel

bowser the king...

41 weeks ago

alice is not a disney princess

MCRFan101

41 weeks ago

PedroArgentino407

41 weeks ago

Snowhite or Snow White (like some people call her) is too white i think she has a problem PLEASE SMOSH HELP US ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡ Pedro from Argentina , Buenos Aires

cabooz mcgrief

41 weeks ago

and what bella has.

cabooz mcgrief

41 weeks ago

i think i have what cinderella has....

evilchickengod

42 weeks ago

snow white probably has ocd as well cuz shes always cleaning

Ashleyrox247

42 weeks ago

tiana the black one has ocd