7 Real Life Jobs for Action Movie Fans
Growing up all I wanted to be was Ethan Hunt or Lara Croft. Action movies, even ones from the '80s and '90s that were a little bit off, feature characters living the most exciting lives imaginable — driving cool cars, jumping out of airplanes, speaking foreign languages, wearing disguises, and falling in love with mysterious international strangers. The most exciting thing I’ve done lately is go for a walk after drinking a Red Bull at 10pm. I was so energetic! Pretty wild stuff. While nobody can be Ethan Hunt or Lara Croft, there are real-world jobs that can get you as close as you can to the exciting lives of action movies.
1) CIA operations officer in the Clandestine Service
The CIA is indeed real, and while it might not be straight-up Jack Ryan business, you can actually work there as a field agent. You’ll have to pass a lot of background checks, so I hope you've been living squeaky clean. Generally, you’ll live abroad and foster relationships with people you think can become assets for the U.S. government. Yep, in real life being a CIA agent is mostly about making a bunch of secret friends.
2) Action sports tour guide
If you’re great at a certain type of action sport — snowboarding, mountain biking, extreme Razr scooting — start leading tours around your hometown for fellow sports-lovers. A parkour tour could feel a lot like the beginning of Casino Royale. Dirt-bike tours could be very Charlie’s Angels. Pogo stick tours could be very exhausting and weird but do whatever gets your blood pumping and your rent paid.
3) FBI agent
FBIjobs.gov has a career matcher, where you can figure out what type of FBI agent job you’d be best suited for. You can work in counter-terrorism, crime, counter-intelligence, cyber crime, and regular-intelligence. Of course, you'll have to pass a fitness test, so start practicing your sit-ups. I can do 1,000 in under a minute. I know, it’s pretty impressive but it’s one hundred percent true.
4) Skydive instructor
Jump out of airplanes for a living! There are always going to be people going through mid-life crises who need to hurtle through the air in order to feel alive, and you can be the one to teach them. If you’re in the U.S., check out the United States Parachute Association to learn about the different certifications you can get. Then go live your life 13,000 feet in the air, with adrenaline in your veins and wind in your face.
5) Private military firm
Work for a private military firm such as Academi, which used to be called Blackwater until some of their employees straight-up murdered people in Iraq in 2007. If you’re like, “yeah I would like to work for a corporation that sometimes murders people”, you are weird and scary but Academi is currently hiring! Apply for contract positions such as personal security specialist/firearms instructor, drone operator, intelligence analyst, and designated defensive marksman. Soooo Jack Reacher. Just seriously please do not murder people, that is no laughing matter.
6) Navy SEAL/Green Beret
If you’re willing to give the government years of your life (and maybe your actual life — sh*t gets dangerous) you can do some real crazy stuff. Jump out of planes, shoot guns, speak foreign languages, beat up drug dealers, parachute a tank out of an airplane. Yes that happened in The A-Team, which is a documentary about the U.S. Army Special Forces.
If the real world just isn’t cutting it for you, maybe you should be a stuntman. Jump out of buildings, bust through windows, catch on fire — the fun is endless! That's life in Hollywood, baby! I keep wanting to go to precision driving school because I’m really good at parallel parking so I assume that must mean I’d be great at driving backwards at 100mph while pretending to shoot bad guys. Also, you get to live in Los Angeles, which is the greatest city on earth.
Would you want one of these jobs? Or would you rather experience the excitement of action movies from the safety of your couch? Did I miss any good job ideas? Let me know @erikaheidewald or leave a comment!