The Real Reasons Why Scorpion And Sub Zero Just Can't Get Along

Anyone who likes their video games gruesomely violent knows that Sub-Zero and Scorpion are sworn enemies. If you foolishly believe the official story that Mortal Kombat tells you, Sub-Zero hates Scorpion for killing his brother. Wrong! Though Scorpy totally killed that guy, Sub-Zero always thought his brother was a jerk and didn't care. Why do they hate each other, then? Read on...

 

Scorpion Always Invites Himself To Parties

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Whenever Scorpion and Sub-Zero argue about this, Scorpion makes the valid point that he should've been invited in the first place. "I mean, seriously. You guys invited Reptile. That guy pukes acid." Sure, it's mean not to invite Scorpion to stuff, but the guy SUCKS at parties. He always gets super aggressive hitting on girls and yells at them to "GET OVER HERE!" which got old like ten years ago. Sub-Zero doesn't have the heart to tell him that maybe he should just quit being a tool.

 

Sub-Zero Smells Pretty Bad

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Sub-Zero thinks that, since he's so cold all the time, he must not need to take showers. NOPE! The dude works out constantly. Even if he's a magical ice ninja, he's bound to get sweaty. When was the last time you saw him in anything but that blue vest? Exactly.

 

Sub-Zero CAN'T BELIEVE Scorpion Still Hasn't Seen "The Wire"

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"COME ON, man. It premiered all the way back in 2002. You're an undead wraith who never sleeps. How can you say you 'can't find the time' to see The Wire? Just see it already!" Every time Sub-Zero and Scorpion hang out, Sub-Zero asks if Scorpion has seen The Wire yet. Secretly, Scorpion knows he could see it whenever he wanted, but he hates how Sub-Zero badgered everybody else in Mortal Kombat to see it and wants to hang onto his independence, even if it means that he misses out on a really, really good TV show.

 

Scorpion Thinks He Can Dance

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He can't. But he will try. Loudly and in public. Sub-Zero probably just hates this because deep down he thinks he's a better dancer who just has too much dignity to bust a move like Scorpion, but who knows? He's an ice ninja.

 

Sub-Zero Posts Kickstarter Links On Facebook At Least Twice A Week

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Get it together, Subz. Most of our friends have jobs. The fact that almost everyone you know is a "starving artist" who really, really needs an extra $600 in the next 48 hours to complete his pottery art should make it clear that you need to be friends with adults. Now please stop asking us for money.

 

Scorpion Ate The Last Piece Of Pizza Three Times In A Row

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Scorpion may have killed Sub-Zero's brother, but some crimes are unforgivable.

 

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