Reasons McDonald’s Is Better Overseas

McDonald’s is America. We love us some McDonald’s and we’ve got the clogged arteries to prove it.

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And while we may be willing to die from a Big Mac Heart attack…our McDonald’s have become a little ho hum. Overseas…not so much. Isn’t it bad enough that every other country is superior to us when it comes to math and science? Do they have to beat us at awesome McDonald’s skills too?? Yes. Yes, they do. And here’s a list of reasons why. Take note American franchise owners!

 

Crazy Commercials

In other countries they have Super Bowl style commercials all year long and they are all filed under WTF. A girl in a McDonald’s slapping a guy with Tourette’s Syndrome after she mistakes his tick for inappropriate flirting? I’m lovin’ it!

 

McBeer

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This is just smart business. Is there any time you want McDonald’s more than after an incapacitating encounter with copious amounts of beer? If you don’t believe me, try hitting a drive-thru late Saturday night…fast food my ass!

 

Hotter Ronald McDonalds

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You can always count on Japan to make even the most ridiculous looks somehow seem super-hot. Personally I’m a little clown phobic but heck, their scary Ronald McDonalds are super-hot too.

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Even while eating your remains.

 

Happy Meals

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Happy Meals haven’t changed much over the years in America, except for the lame addition of the apple dunkers as an alternative to fries—which is just WRONG! What’s that New Zealand? Your Happy Meals have animal-shaped raviolis and a straw that flavors your milk as you drink it? Magic fricking straws that turn your milk into chocolate??? This is why we need to get on that science bandwagon, people!

 

Cooler Decor

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Finally you can bring a date to McDonald’s and not appear to be a total cheapskate. Well, at least until she realizes it’s actually a McDonald’s. I can’t imagine actually enjoying my surroundings in a Mickey D’s. I’m usually just grateful if I can eat my meal in peace and not encounter a teen mom washing her baby in the bathroom sink when I go to the bathroom.

 

Hilarious Knock-Offs

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McDonald’s keeps it real when it comes to anyone infringing on their copyright. Call your place McCurry and you will be super-size sued in two seconds flat. Things are much more lax in the foreign markets. Take this Chinese restaurant called Mini Dog... I'm guessing it's not a pet store. Let's hope that's not an image of their main ingredient up on that menu there.

 

Interesting Food

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Don’t you want fried French Cheese Nuggets? Or a McLobster Roll? And can you please explain to me how Japan has a bacon, cheese and potato deep-fried pie and we don’t??? In America the McDonald’s menu only gets exciting when they bust out the Shamrock Shakes and McRibs. I guess ‘meat’ molded into the shape of a rack of rib is interesting, but it just makes me McNauseated.

 

Better Pitchmen

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From Japan, of course, we have the hilariously bumbling uber-nerd, Mr. James…an American who goes to Japan to reinforce negative stereotypes. Hilarity ensues! Stupid jackass Americans always making fools of themselves abroad…Hey wait a minute!

 

So whatevs foreign McDonald’s! Your food may be cooler and your commercials more hilarious, but you can never beat us when it comes to vulgar pictures of people being molested by statues!

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What do you think? Would you hit up a McDonald’s when traveling abroad? Have you ever tried a foreign McDonald’s? Let us know in the comments!

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