10 Reasons No One Showed Up To Your Party
You got the onion dip and Ruffles, real Ruffles not the janky store brand chips! You spent months making the perfect playlist and you even got some fancy strobe light at Walmart. But instead of a rager you’re sitting there alone…enraged. Where the hell is everyone? It might be time to take an honest look at what you’ve done wrong at parties past. Cause there are usually very good reasons that people turn down free food and drink.
Your Sister Always Tries To Make Money Off Of Your Guests
First it was Avon. Then she had a table set up selling Herbalife. Now it's MonaVie... what won't your sister do to make a buck?
Your Dogs Have No Boundaries
When they’re not licking everything on the buffet, they’re getting hard core on your lady friend’s legs. At first it was kind of funny, but now it’s getting a little aggressive. If they were humans they would be in jail by now.
Uncle Floyd—Life Of The Party
I’m all for tearing up the dance floor but not in jean shorts that are cut to the nut.
Your Bathroom Isn’t Very Private
Instead of taking a collection to pay for the keg maybe you should taken a collection to buy a door. People would rather pee outside. That’s why at your last party, the backyard started to smell like a hobo encampment. I give you credit for trying to cover it up … but there’s a reason that they don’t make a Tahitian vanilla and urine scented Glade Plug-in.
Fear Of Dying In A Blazing Inferno
Between the 500 strands of Christmas lights plugged into one socket and the jimmy-rigged hot tub…people fear there really will be a disco inferno!
There’s Remnants Of A Crime Scene In Your Living Room
Everyone’s happy it turned out that your house guest died of natural causes…but a leftover crime scene only works at Halloween. People are just weird about playing a game of beer pong by leftover carnage…they’re funny like that.
Every Party Ends When Grandma Gets taken Away In An Ambulance
You’d think after 60 plus years of drinking she would’ve learned how to hold her liquor! But the truth is even if she did manage to keep it together, things would probably still end badly. I’m pretty sure your guests might need to be taken away in straight jackets if they ever have to witness her taking out her dentures and frenching her boy toy again.
No One Likes Your Weird Party Games
It’s starting to become clear that you’re just trying to cop a feel. Cause I googled it and no one’s ever heard of ‘rub-a-dub-dub… let’s drink beer naked in the tub’.
Your Mom’s Like A Boss
Ever since she caught that baseball like a boss…she kind of thinks she’s the world’s biggest badass. And you know what…she kind of is. No one wants to be caught getting busy in the bedroom of the female Chuck Norris.
There’s A Way Better Party That Night
An unlimited buffet of cocktail wieners, Twinkies and drunken Paris Hilton shakin' her money maker? Sorry, but even if you were my BFF, I'd still have to bail on your party so I could get some good facebook pics of me with Paris.
What are some other reasons you wouldn’t show up to a party? Let us know in the comments!