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8 Reasons Why Holland Is Better Than Your Country

Posted By: Cosmic Charlie on 04.14.11

So you all voted last week to see which country we wrote about this week, and it looks like you Europeans aren’t just content with spreading small pox and colonialism to the rest of the world, you want to take over blogs too. Well, fine. Sorry Brazil and the Philippines, people wanna know about HOLLAND.

Here are some reasons why Holland is better than your country.

It’s not even a country

Holland is not even a COUNTRY, son. Holland is just a part of the Netherlands, but is still country-level famous. It’s like if Massachusetts was as famous as the United States. But guess what? Massachusetts is NOT. It’s barely more famous than Connecticut.

1/4 of the Netherlands is bellow sea level

Most countries pretty much puss out when they reach the ocean. They are all like “no way, man. That’s the friggin’ OCEAN. WE GIVE UP!” Well, Holland isn’t most countries. They see the ocean and are all like “let’s stick some country in there.” Although large parts of The Netherlands are bellow sea level, a system of dikes (hehe) keeps the ocean bay, and for hundreds of years the famous Dutch windmills were used to pump away water.

These days the windmills are there to remind the ocean to go screw itself.

The Hague

The Hague is the 3rd largest city in the Netherlands, and although the parliament meets there, it is NOT the capital. But did you notice the NAME of this city. It has a freakin’ ARTICLE at the beginning. The London or The Chicago sounds stupid, but The Hague is boss.

Also, much of the UN is run out of The Hague. They basically run the world there.

They are kind to gingers

Some people say gingers have no souls or that their red hair allowed them to command the element of fire (this is just what I learned in school). Holland has NO USE for your anti-ginger bias, and even has a giant redhead PARTY, bringing redheads from around together.

Dutch Girls

Some of my favorite European girls come from the land of dikes.

Keukenhof

You like flowers? How about the world’s largest flower garden at Keukenhof. This is probably a good place for DATES.

Holland gave us New York

Back before those British bullies took it over, New York city was called New Amsterdam. That’s because it was founded by people from old Amsterdam, which is in HOLLAND. So Jay-Z, when you are rapping about your favorite city, remember that it wouldn’t even exist without the Dutch.

Bacon

You like bacon? YES, YOU DO. Well, guess where a lot of that Bacon comes from? Supposedly over 70% of the world’s bacon comes from the Netherlands. HELL YEAH!

So yeah, that's Holland. Which country should we write about next week? Let us know in the poll below!

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152 Comments

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rinuswb

10 weeks ago

we have a super failing goverment yett they still get much votes; to all dutch smosh fans: stem niet rechts!

rainbowwhale

11 weeks ago

Sing a dutch song in a next episode of ian is bored.. :-)

robbind

14 weeks ago

haha holland it is a country its the same as the netherlands 2 names for a country in a language
and a another good point we can use weed here.
in amsterdam you got around 80 shops where you can weed and its legal:)

and you got north holland and south holland its like the north side and the south side of our country something like that but its just a province north holland and south holland

greeting out the netherlands/holland

jorn-freak

17 weeks ago

damn bacon comes from holland YES first i hatet my land but now i love it ps the gingers are no liver here 2

SmoshEva

17 weeks ago

Yaaay, my country <3 :D!

Sannyboy-B

17 weeks ago

how about the red light district( the place to be for cheep and legal whores

Zwoll

19 weeks ago

Hahah I'm Dutch so the Netherlands aren't better ;) You should write about Luxembourg cuz they're awesome as well ^_^

Charlie Fraterman

21 weeks ago

one of those babes dresed in orange is my dentist xD

melovescookies

21 weeks ago

my random comment of today:

I don't have a ginea pig...

xTonkun

21 weeks ago

NL OWNT OUWE :3 ( But i like japan xDD )

Chickenman78

23 weeks ago

There are Europeans on this website?

rainbow_ostrich

34 weeks ago

AAAHHHHHHHH! GINGER OVER LOAD!

paulinegvw

43 weeks ago

@ girlizz dûh

SmoshLover3321

44 weeks ago

Proud to be someone from holland, we have the best Dj's in the world, great food, enough money to take good care of ourselfs...But I never eat bacon here exarly..yeah and the dikes huh ( hehe )

girlizz

44 weeks ago

wait do they mean den haag at the hague?

girlizz

44 weeks ago

LOL why is holland better than my country i live in holland (paradox xD)

Giraplatina

45 weeks ago

We don't eat very much bacon actually....

charliethepuppetpall

48 weeks ago

wooo Nederland

basksl

50 weeks ago

we have a street devoted to prostitution

Hell Yeah :D

50 weeks ago

man yall for got about legal prostitution and the largest brothel in the world D:

Purple-unicorn

51 weeks ago

But ehm holland is a country its a different name for netherlands .. ;l

Purple-unicorn

51 weeks ago

HOLLAAND SUCKS
i hate to live in holland D:

masterbal111

56 weeks ago

Holland is cool

but u please do belium too :)
cmon our national statue is a peeing dude :D

tokke552

57 weeks ago

those dutch girls are cute but if they start talking you cannot stop them

SmoshVader

57 weeks ago

I live near the windmills :D and below sea level. Holland ftw <3

SmoshVader

57 weeks ago

I live near the windmills :D and below sea level. Holland ftw <3

shenjing

57 weeks ago

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timoxxxx

57 weeks ago

That's right, we have blonde chicks, sh*t loads of bacon and tulips, an army of soulless fire controling red heads, practicaly rule the world, freaking dominated america before the Brittish got there

Jassiepassievrucht

57 weeks ago

you didn't even mention drugs and prostitutes!!

Juliaa100

57 weeks ago

my country cant be better than Hollang becaude i live there, and i also live underneath sea level so, im happy i can swim. LOVE NL

justlovemusic

57 weeks ago

I love you for not putting whores, beer and drugs in here, because that's what everyone seems to think of The Netherlands >.>

leiniekonijnie

57 weeks ago

I live in that 1/4 under the sea-level :D HELL YEAH

athache

57 weeks ago

so your basically saying that everyone in holland doesnt have souls??

camobs

57 weeks ago

Beest
Den haag heerst over de wereld dat klopt

ssmmaa

57 weeks ago

c.l.o.t.h.i.n.g,j.e.a.n,,h.a.n.d.b. a.g,(f.r.e.e)s.h.i.p.p.i.n.g HTTP://WWW.luckyvogue.COM
Believe you will love it. Acce

maxvanvliet

57 weeks ago

berando5....im dutch 2 freaking freack hell freaking yeah!?

lasagne

57 weeks ago

ZWOLLSE MALOTEN!!

jonzazaz

57 weeks ago

ynow the british also helped make new york cuz we have a city called york

berando5

57 weeks ago

holland isnt better that my country because i live there ;)

nickyaa2

57 weeks ago

OMG HOLLAND ROCKS

Ewha

57 weeks ago

How 'bout the fact that softdrugs such as weed is legal over here :) And you're allowed to drink alcohol when you turn 16. Think about that! ;)

EVieb1995

57 weeks ago

Belgium firetrucking sucks.

brrrul

57 weeks ago

why did we trade new Amsterdam for Suriname. looked like a got deal back then but i we didn't the whole world would speak dutch instead of English and americans may have legal pot and stroopwafels i r

vip_makaveli

57 weeks ago

I want to know about Romania !

mozoa

57 weeks ago

@siberith

yup some how they screwed up...
their country is without a government for about some months now....
its even a world record....

megno3

57 weeks ago

GELDERLAND FOR LIFE!!!

ingmar123

57 weeks ago

LOL I live in holland, but I always thought that The US was better :P

rmxpokeman

57 weeks ago

I must show this to my Dutch friend. ='D

Nazaket

57 weeks ago

Holland is my country ... Ik ben vast niet de eerste die dat denkt..

SHINeeluv123

58 weeks ago

Yay! :D I really do hope the next one is South Korea! I love Kpop, especially the boy groups and girl groups. They should talk about their music. My favorite Kpop group is SHINee. HOTT!!!

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