Reasons Why Horses Are Jealous Of Zebras
It must be hard to be a horse and know that there are zebras in the world. Zebras have it all. Anyone can tell you that. They've got the money, the women, the power. Horses can, and should, be jealous of them at all times. Here are just some of the reasons why:
They Can Blend In Completely To Couches
Can you tell there are over fourteen zebras standing right in front of this couch? Yeah, I thought not.
When You Put Peanut Butter On A Horses Gums He Just Looks Silly, When You Put Peanut Butter On A Zebra's Gums, He Only Looks Even More Dignified
He was already pretty damn dignified, but after putting peanut butter on his gums he could pass for a member of the British Royal Family.
They're Naturally Gifted At Rap Battling
It is a shocking but irrefutable statistic that while the top 2 rap battlers in the world are human, 9 out of 11 of the best rap battlers in the world are Zebras.
No One Has Ever Gotten Drunk And Punched A Zebra In The Face
This happens to almost every horse at some point. They always hate it, and they never see it coming.
Baby Horses Look Gross, Zebra Babies Look Like Zac Efron
All baby Zebras look exactly like Zac Efron until they turn three, then they go into their coccoon phase, and when they come out they look like Zebras, which is still awesome.
Zebras Have A Much More Rigid Moral Code Than Horses
Horses prefer a structured, oppresive moral code based on authoritarian hierarchy, as Zebras do, but they are weak willed worms who do not have the spine to submit themselves to their benevolent masters. And it shows.
Zebras Do This Every Single Day
Horses on the other hand have almost no idea how to ride a motorcycle. The most powerful motorcycle a horse has ever used to escape a lion is a 25cc, which is a very embarrassing motorcycle to ride.
How else should horses be jealous of zebras? Let us know in the comments!