Rejected Easter Rabbits

Getting the job of Easter Rabbit is a grueling process. You have to be in great shape, be a rabbit, pass a rigorous 400 question scantron exam, get a letter of recommendation from a Senator, possess a Master's degree in "Criminal Psychology" for some reason, and you can't be registered as a sex offender in more than three states. You have to supply your own bow ties. If you break an egg it comes out of your salary. It's not an easy job to get or to keep.  As a result, many would be Easter Rabbits have not made the cut. Here are just a few:

 

Peter Rabbit

He almost made the cut until they found out he was wanted on felony charges of theft from one Mr. McGregor. Shortly after applying for the job of Easter Rabbit he was found guilty and sentenced to 16 years of hard labor on Riker's Island.

 

The Velveteen Rabbit

While the hiring committee for Easter Bunnies claims that they do not discriminate against any religion, race, or creed many suspect that the Velveteen Rabbit's very public, virulent Atheism was the motivating factor behind why they decided against hiring him.

 

Lucius the Gulf War Veteran Rabbit

The Easter Bunny hiring commission gives veterans of the armed forces extra points on the Easter Bunny exam, which almost snagged Lucius the job. Until the interview with the board, where he responded to, "So it's nice to meet you," with, "I named my gun after my mother."

 

Rick

It turned out that this was not a rabbit, but just some dude. Gotta be a rabbit bro.

 

African Frilled Egg Eating Lizard

They should have known something was wrong when on his job application under the section labeled "Reasons why I want to be the Easter Rabbit" he wrote: "Not to eat all the delicious, savory eggs. That's for sure."

 

Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson tried out for the job of Easter Bunny because he got confused and the position entailed taking away eggs from Jews, not giving eggs to Christians.

 

Jessica Rabbit

She was actually hired to be the Easter Rabbit for a short while, but then quickly fired when they found out where she kept the eggs.

 

What are some other rejected Easter Rabbits? Let us know in the comments!

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