Rihanna Has A Sex Tape???

Yesterday Hustler released a statement claiming that they had a tape of Rihanna doing the deed with the opening act on her 2011 tour, J.Cole. Did Rihanna show her opening act her opening act? And more importantly did they film it? I'll believe it when we see it. So... when do we get to see it?

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Not so fast! Because according to Rihanna the answer is...NEVER. And in my experience celebrities never lie about things like appearing in sex tapes and nude photos. Except for Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens... ah screw it! They all lie.

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Now it's not like Rihanna is some goody-two-shoes prude, so it wouldn't be completely shocking if a tape did exist. I mean girl wears her sexuality on her sleeve as well as on her hardly ever covered a**! She performs songs about S & M dressed in the finest spiked leather bondage ware money can buy. And besides her at-best mediocre vocals, I would say she is most famous for being a sexy girl who likes to shove her sexiness down your throat every opportunity she has. WE GET IT, RIHANNA! You're hot! Celebrities can be so needy, sometimes.

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And Rihanna already had a nude pic scandal, with of course the classic mirror pics, showing off her booty and some piercings in what I consider to be very sensitive areas. Is there something I just don't get about taking naked pics of yourself in a mirror? I mean, I can see why butter-faced skanks would be desperate enough to go there... but why do celebrities do it? Celebrities... they're just like us!

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So did Rihanna make a sex tape with J. Cole? Are her people working overtime to stop its release right now? Will she be able to deny it when the grainy tape of a Rihanna-esque girl getting it on with a J-Cole looking dude is finally released? More importantly... what does Chris Brown think of it all? Because getting Chris Brown pissed off will be the best part of the whole damn scandal.

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Don't worry RiRi! Sex tapes aren't the worst thing that can happen to a girl! One day you too can have a fairy tale wedding and walk down the aisle wearing a white princess dress even though all of your wedding guests have probably seen a video of you going hobgoblin on a previous boyfriend. Does virginal white mean anything anymore? Welcome to the modern world, people!

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What do you guys think? Is Rihanna telling the truth or do you love the way she lies? Give me a shout @DesiJedeikin or let's discuss in the comments!

Check Out Ian Is Bored 11: Rihanna Stole My Haircut!