RIP Bigfoot? Mythical Beast Captured and Killed Maybe but Probably Not
The world mourns today as we learn that Bigfoot, long-considered the missing link between humans and apes and one of the most famous cryptozoological monsters thought to be roaming the United States, is dead today at 55 (years since his first sighting).
He is survived by the Loch Ness Monster, the Jersey Devil, and one grandson, Miles.
Or at least, that's what hunter Rick Dyer would have you believe. After releasing the above unbelievable-yet-still-super-sad photo of a supposedly dead Bigfoot, Dyer has announced plans to take the body on a morbid tour of the United States. Is that junior college-level Bigfoot FX makeup job in the above photo not enough evidence to make you believe Dyer's claim that Bigfoot is real? Then take a look at this:
How much more grainy, out-of-focus proof do you need?
Since releasing that video, Dyer's been trying to convince America that he shot and killed a Bigfoot. You wouldn't think that would be much of a challenge, since we so desperately want to believe these monsters are real. Could Dyer be having credibility trouble because he admitted to orchestrating a hoax vis a vis Bigfoot's existence back in 2008?
Literally the one thing a Bigfoot hunter can't do is lie about cathcing Bigfoot if they ever want us to believe again that they'ce caught a Bigfoot. Hell, that advice works even more broadly — when you're in a position of trust, you can't do the one thing you're not allowed to do and then ask for a second chance.
"Yes, I may have robbed a few banks, but I still think I would make an excellent vault guard."
So no, I don't think Dyer is telling the truth when he says he has a dead Bigfoot in the back of his truck. And that's too bad, too. I love it when any animals die. It adds ever-so-slightly to humanity's advantage when the animals eventually decide they're tired of being eaten and rise up against us.
Our fluffy, adorable reckoning is nigh.
Do you think Bigfoot is real? And if so, do you think he's dead? Let me know on Twitter — @mikeyfromsu — or in the comments below!