Rules For A Summer Fling

This summer, many of you plan on taking a trip to the land of Fling. It is best to know the appropriate customs and laws before you arrive, lest you end up in the prison of Autumnal Complacency. See below for a list of the most crucial policies and recommendations.

 

No Friend Group Alliances

summer fling united nations

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Do not introduce your fling-mate to your friends, as they might like this person and want him/her to stick around. Or they’ll hate this person, and you won’t be able to stop thinking about that whenever you guys hang out.

 

Keep Sessions On Your Terms

summer fling beach session

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As a visitor to Fling, you are advised to only respond to invitations to hang out when you feel like it. This allows you to properly fling this person’s feelings around, per custom.

 

Air Conditioning Is An Inalienable Right

summer fling air conditioner

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The climate of summer fling is such that lack of air conditioning is considered cruel and unusual punishment. If you are being abused via “a good oscillating fan” or “a breeze through the window,” exit the land of Fling immediately.

 

Maintain A Solid Hook-Up To Food Ratio

summer fling economy chart

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Grabbing food together is a vital aspect of the Fling economy; it helps reduce the likelihood of being plunged into a Skeezecession.

 

Boycott The Future

summer fling september calendar

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The Future is the sworn enemy of Fling. No thoughts may be directed toward it, no plans may be made for it, and people are not allowed back into the land of Fling once they have this stamp on their passport.

 

If All Else Fails, Declare War

summer fling september calendar

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Sometimes war is the only answer to end an otherwise pleasant stay in Fling. One may instigate a sort of Cold War or simply go crazy and pillage a town or something. No one wants to be with a pillager.

 

Can you think of other rules or guidelines for a summer fling? Let us know in the comments!

 

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