Saddest Jobs For Marvel Superheroes

Look. Nobody gets paid for being a superhero. You don’t just save a busload of nuns careening off a freeway overpass that’s no longer overpassing and serve them with an itemized invoice of your expenses. Even in this economic climate, superheroes gotta eat.

 

Banshee - The School Bell

banshee in classroom

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OMG IT’S TIME FOR RECESS! WHAT? NO, I DON’T THINK PLUTO WAS MICKEY’S MUTE, NAKED SLAVE WITH DISABILLITIES. WHY ARE YOUR EARS BLEEDING?

 

Cyclops - Supermarket Check Out

cyclops beans

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Attention. I need a price check on M’kraan Crystals. Price check on M’Kraan Crystals. I’m telling you Sheila, Brad never got over Jen and he’s just using Angie as a gorgeous grief beard. Price check!

 

The Thing – Office Temp

the thing in office

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It’s collating time!

 

Deadpool - Telemarketer

deadpool thumbs up

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C’mon! Give me the contents of your savings account and I will stop calling your house at 4am to tell your wife the sordid details about you and the neighbor’s shih-tzu, The Supreme Poopiekins Kim Dog-un.

 

Lady Deathstrike – Etsy Knit Store

deathstrike yarn birds

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All items made with the one hundred percent organic remnants torn from the flesh of my enemies. Act now and get a free tote and homemade lipbalm!

 

Spider-Man - Panhandler

depressed spiderman

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My spidey senses are tingling with withdrawal and regret.

Know of any Superheroes moonlighting in your area? Is there a super power that would help you at your job? Tell us in the comments!

 

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