The Same 6 Camera Poses EVERYONE Strikes!
Somehow, at some point, we all came together and decided there are only six ways we want to be seen on camera. And none of them are good.
“I Have Hands!”
Variations: “Peace symbol that was initially a Spock gesture until I saw the camera.” “Three-finger peace symbol because some people have difficulty counting to two.” “Two middle fingers for haters who don’t actually know I exist.” “Two thumbs tucked under my belt because I’m a cowboy. From New Jersey.” “Gangsta finger guns because I’m a tough mother*&%#$ when posing in my parents’ den.”
“I Have a Reflective Surface!”
Variations: “I accidentally took a shot of my rash medication on the bathroom sink.” “Now everyone knows I got that cheap-ass smartphone they advertise on bus benches.” “Is it 11 or 12 straight hours of taking your own photo that indicates narcissism?” “Maybe this would look better if I were the only one using the bathroom right now.”
“We Are So CRAAAAAAAYZEEEEE!”
Variations: “We were actually discussing that horrible earthquake until you pointed your cell phone at us.” “The two of us might have kissed had some guy not been taking our photo and yelling ‘Do it! Do it!’ the whole time.” “Man, we have fun when we mix anti-depressants and alcohol.” “Who the hell is that other person, when the hell was this taken, and how the hell can I untag myself from this mess?”
“I’m Too Cool for This.”
Variations: “I can’t smile because not everyone used fluoride as a kid.” “I’m just looking off into the distance, ignoring the camera, hoping my ex doesn’t see yet another photo of me desperately alone.” “Oh, I’m not flexing. I’m just bending my arm next to my head so I can point with my elbow.” “I’m standing between two women like I’m their pimp despite the fact they wouldn’t sleep with me even if they got so drunk their hearts were pumping Cuervo Gold.”
“I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt!”
Variations: “I want to show you my best feature. That’s why you can’t see my face.” “Now that you’ve seen me without the lower half of my shirt on can you make your Facebook photo albums public?” “See? Appendectomy scars do eventually heal!” “Imagine how this will look after my third sit-up!”
“I’m a Duck!”
Variations: “I somehow confused ‘sexy’ with ‘stroke victim.’ ” “I think my jutting lips really bring out the fact I never studied portrait photography.” “Collagen injections should not be done with Home Depot caulk.” “This would look so much better with six other girls in front of a bathroom mirror doing peace signs because we’re so CRAAAAAAAYZEEEEE!”
What's your favorite camera pose? Let us know in the comments below!