School Administrators Finally Catch One of Those Chemistry-Inspired Yearbook Jokes
For years and years and years now, students have been using their yearbook quotes to either a) make SpongeBob Squarepants references, b) imply that everyone is fed up with them stealing their girls, or c) sneak swear words in by writing out the names of elements whose periodic symbols spell out a Biggie Smalls lyric. Somehow, yearbook editors never catch these things, and it makes the school's entire staff look clueless. But now, finally, these administrators have someone upon which they can exert their wrath — an overall good student who was set to speak at commencement and seems to love science.
Last week, school officials at Mundy's Mill High School in Clayton County, Georgia caught wind of Paris Gray's yearbook quote, which read "When the going gets tough just remember to Barium, Carbon, Potassium, Thorium, Astatine, Arsenic, Sulfur, Uranium, Phosphorus."
And upon reading this quote, every student in school dropped out of school to smoke cigarettes, buy leather jackets, and get pregnant before they got married.
The school threatened to cancel Gray's speech as punishment for the quote, but they were rescinded when, I assume, school administrators realized Gray was just doing a public service. That quote did the important work of reminding us that Juvenile used to be a thing. As we all know, those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it:
Goddamn it Drake, be better at remembering the past.
Point is, the only person really at fault for the quote is the yearbook editor, who should know by now to run any quotes that arbitrarily start naming elements by the 'ole AP chem teacher real quick.
"After hours of calculation, I've found your students are telling you to eat a d*ck."
What was the most trouble YOUR school's commencement speaker ever got in to? Let me know on Twitter — @mikeyfromsu — or in the comments below!