Schools Where Harry Potter Would Not Be Very Popular

Sure Harry Potter's top sh*t at Hogwarts, after all he was like, destined to be top sh*t there before he was even born. How fair is that? You guys all know how hard it is to climb the damn social ladder at school. And here's this kid Potter, gets a prophecy foretelling of him being like the baddest of all wizards and he's not even out of diapers. But don't worry, Harry Potter might be king of cool mountain at Hogwarts, but there are plenty of schools where he would have a real hard time becoming class President. For instance...

 

Navy Seal Academy

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Potter might be an amazing magician, but he still has the body of a nerdy female runway model. Chances are he'd piss everyone off whining about how, "If there were a Quidditch portion of Navy Seal training he'd be owning right now," until they all finally all got soap and towels and Code Red'd him into dropping out.

 

Adult 12th Grade Equivalency Education Night School

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Harry might be fated to vanquish Voldemort, but he ain't fated to earn his adult equivalency degree while at the same time trying not to have the out-of-work Cholo in the back of the room kick the crap out of him for wearing "glasses that piss him off."

 

Whatever This School Is

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This just doesn't seem like a "Harry Potter" kind of place. Where are the friendly talking ghosts?

 

A School Of Fish

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It's not that he can't breathe, he has gillyweed he can harvest, it's that fish are generally known to be unusually racist against the English. And the separate but equal fish and English person bathrooms are, believe me, anything but.

 

Prof. Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters

Harry has trained for years to be able to do all sorts of magic tricks, but what can he do on his own, really? Talk to snakes? There's probably like ten X-Men who can TURN INTO snakes.

 

Janitorial College

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The teachers would keep trying to get him to sweep up dirt with his broom, and he'd keep looking confused at why they think brooms are for sweeping and not flying around and battling dragons and crap.

 

School Of Rock

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Harry Potter is great at spells, incantations, and being a dumbass and not making out with Hermione, but he is terrible at knowing how to rock. One silly sounding traditional Hogwarts fiddle song and Jack Black would give up teaching rock and go back to being a panda.

 

Where else would Harry Potter not fit in? Let us know in the comments!

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