Sexual Predator Finder Facebook App Available?!

Looks like Facebook isn't just a place for creepers to troll for underage girls anymore, now YOU can troll for creepers! At least in New York anyway. Creepers are safe in the other forty-nine states and The District of Columbia. Hey wait a minute!

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The Division of Criminal Justice Services has launched a sex offender locator app on their page that helps 'fans' locate medium and high risk sex offenders in their vicinity. Imagine liking this page? My friends were on my a** for a month after they saw I 'liked' Taco Bell.

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Now, I can't think of a more perfect combination than Facebook and a sex offender locator app. Sure you can use it to investigate all your neighbors, but it's also a great tool to screen friend requests from strangers with whom you have no mutual friends, who have profile pics that look like mugshots. Kind of like a captcha for people who wanna fap to your vacay pics. Or you could just not accept friend requests from creepy strangers with handlebar mustaches and pock-marked skin. But your friend list would be decidedly less colorful.

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With millions of dumb kids everywhere releasing more and more private information everyday online. It's probably a good idea to know where the predators in your neighborhood are. You can even sign up to get a text message when a new pedo moves into the hood. That would be a scary ass text to get! I guess this is a good way for Facebook to make up for all they do to help pedos find your children.  

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So after a few days of not sleeping, living in a paranoid state of fear while obsessively checking every person you've ever had minimal contact with in your entire life you'll be sure to have something to go on! Knowledge is power. But first it's usually debilitating paranoia and distrust. Once you have the info, I guess the logical next step is to 'update' the neighborhood by 'tagging' the pedo's profile pic to every telephone pole on the block. Don't forget to stock up on printer supplies!

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Hey, I hate pedos just as much as the next person, but there is something bizarre about this whole thing. First of all, you're assuming that everyone is being truthful about their identity and that they're registering to begin with. I mean, we're talking about convicted sex offenders here! Not the most trust-worthy lot! I wouldn't want parents to get a false sense of security. Besides, no app is more effective when it comes to protecting your child than good old fashioned 'on your ass at all times' parenting. Whatever you think of this app, I think we can all agree that childhood should remain an innocent time, free of icky things. There's time enough for that when you start college. 

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What do you think of the pedo app? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

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