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SMOSH PIT

Six Secret Endings of LOST

Posted By: Smosh on 02.02.10

The long-awaited final season of Lost begins tonight, and fans across the country are hoping that all the secrets of the islands will finally be revealed. We here at Smosh were able to break into the super-secret Lost production HQ, and find out what's really going to happen this season.

Will Kate and Jack finally end up together? Will the Island finally get a Taco Bell? Can Sawyer finally figure out how to put on a shirt? Check below for the secrets we discovered!

1. A New Breed

We finally discover Jack's true purpose, and what the island wanted -- it was to lead everyone back to begin a new race of half-horse half-human that will ultimately dominate the globe. Don't worry -- Kate will still be hot as a half-horse. But Hurley will eat all the grass.

2. This Should Be Obvious By Now

Jacob turns out to be the time-traveling son of Walt, who was a genetically African-American version of an alternate version of John Locke, who actually was cloned from the original John Locke, a 17th-Century English philosopher who would have loved to have sex with Kate.

The philosopher John Locke was created by Faraday, who didn't die and who actually built the Black Rock to hide from Penny who time-traveled to a time just after he was born to take him into the future. Got it?

3. Let Me Count the Ways

Each episode of the entire 6th Season is just 43 minutes of footage of Lost creators Damon Lindlelof and Carlton Cuse counting their money and cackling. That is the "secret of the Island." That they will become very, very rich.

4. Pimp Sauce

Ben will kill everyone and get all the 'hos. End of story.

5. Mystical Fungus

The mysterious, gigantic foot statue will turn out to have really bad case of fungus, and the entire 6 season of Lost will be revealed to have been a commercial for "Tough Actin' Tinactin."

6. Cameron Will Answer Everything

Ending? What ending? Silly, mortal fools--you thought your wait was over? You don't get to find out what happens.

You will have to pay $39 Spacebucks in 2021 when James Cameron finishes the 4D version of "LOST: The Movie," seven years late and a mere $2.3 billion over budget.

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35 Comments

iloveT-bag

1 week ago

In the first picture Sayid looks so ridiculous! lololol

malakinishad

1 week ago

Good. Those Ho's will get shanked by Sir Benjamen

ThisisMahUsernamee

2 weeks ago

Hah i wuv LOST

tatianaswatek

3 weeks ago

LOL

destructor997

3 weeks ago

tizzythetiger the human/horse thing is called a centaur it is part of ancient greek mythology

Churrogirl_818

3 weeks ago

haha i dont even watch lost and that was lmfaotastic!

tizzythetiger

4 weeks ago

i like the human/horse thing. i ride horses and mine is FAT.

AshK

4 weeks ago

i agree, that would be freaking amazingly hilarious if smosh did a "lost" parody! smosh should so parody shows and stuff. remember how funny their "if movies were real" thing was? I laugh every tim

nineinchfail

4 weeks ago

jordanaiden

5 weeks ago

lol ben ill get all da hos

milemil

6 weeks ago

ahahahaha I totaly agree.

im_really_special

6 weeks ago

love the last theory...

omagawdSHUTUP

6 weeks ago

ahahahahahahahahah ben kills evry1 and gets the ho's. lololol

JeanniBean

6 weeks ago

i couldnt even make it thru the first season! my mom may love it, but i was left with mroe questions than answers.

Waytooinsane

6 weeks ago

smosh should do a lost pardy :)

buzsuforever

6 weeks ago

loled on the 6th one!!!!!!!!!!

slow

6 weeks ago

HAHA loved the ending

michael96412

6 weeks ago

i never watched lost :/

iLoveSmosh97

6 weeks ago

i have never seen lost but this was still funny.

cdrocks86

6 weeks ago

yes but out of smosh and lost.... i think lost is better lets start a poll who is better smosh or lost\

A.Lost
B.smosh

OfficerJohnMclane

6 weeks ago

I like 4 and 6 the best

greenhippo

6 weeks ago

I can see #6 actually happening. I would never pay 39 spacebucks to go see that though.

TheStorytime

6 weeks ago

watch this.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdYDYFtWqKQ

JmJnava

6 weeks ago

#6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmfao

michaelvanz

6 weeks ago

i am 100% positive it will be #4 and i have always known that because ben pwns

samiam10100

6 weeks ago

ya,i dont watch lost either! should i watch it?!

fakenalts

6 weeks ago

These are so damned good, and well timed. So glad youze dug the pitt.

felix09

6 weeks ago

I've never watched lost before...

roxxi_kae

6 weeks ago

*ny beam of light to tear into the O-zone layer that will cause the world to explode!

roxxi_kae

6 weeks ago

You forgot the 7th secret! Miley Cyrus will become too annoying for the world to handle, so they'll banish her to the island where the islanders will use her obnoxiously sequined outfits to send a shi

EPICFAIL5000

6 weeks ago

i havent watched it Elinlvarson, but i've heard the plot, and its confusing as hell

ElinIvarson

6 weeks ago

@EPICFAIL5000 Just because you watch it does'nt mean that you understand it. Belive me xD

ElinIvarson

6 weeks ago

Just because you watch it does'nt mean that you understand it. Belive me xD

reagan804

6 weeks ago

i agree with EPICFAIL5000