Star Wars Characters That Should Never Get Their Own Movie
Ever since it was announced that Han Solo, Yoda, and Boba Fett might get their own Star Wars movies, the internet has been filled with speculation on who might also get their own movies. For me, the top of my list is Darth Maul. I would love to get to see him get more screen time than he did in The Phantom Menace. He was probably the coolest character in the prequels and we barely got to see him. While there are many Star Wars characters that would make great movies, there are way more that should never be on screen again. Here are Star Wars characters that shouldn't get their own movie.
Jar Jar Binks
If Jar Jar Binks got his own movie, I would be the first one to start burning all of my Star Wars memorabilia. Everything I own from my bed sheets to my drinking glasses are all Star Wars. It would suck to be left possessionless, but it would be worth it to make a point.
Dash Rendar already got a lame book and a video game. I don't need to see any more of this dude. The game was only known for having a sweet soundtrack. If your third person shooter video game is only known for having a good soundtrack then that is probably a terrible video game. This movie would mostly consist of Dash awkwardly walking around empty buildings and constantly missing with his laser pistol.
Salacious B. Crumb
Salacious Crumb is Jabba the Hutt's court jester. He's a fan favorite because he hangs around next to Jabba all day and cackles at anything and everything. This is entertaining in small doses, but enraging after about a half hour. It would be cool to get to see the rest of his family though. Of course, his mother would be played by Fran Drescher.
I would love to see a movie about Chewie growing up on the Wookie homeworld Kashyyyk. The reason I don't want to see this movie get made is that Disney would ruin it by subtitling all of the Wookies. In the original trilogy, Chewbacca was never subtitled. I would love to see an entire movie in an alien language with no subtitles. They're just too scared because no one will "understand" what's going on.
Just because the internet loves an idea, it won't make a good movie. I'm sure if there was even a hint of an Admiral Ackbar movie that the intenet might explode with positive support. I think Snakes On A Plane showed us that some ideas should be left as memes and t-shirts and stickers and Tumblrs and Smosh articles.
If you have a Max Rebo movie, you're guaranteed to have it conclude with a battle of the bands. This would be like the Purple Rain of Star Wars movies except replace sexy with gross. Wait. I'm confused. Which one is the movie with the space aliens?
I think Yoda and Boba Fett movies would be pretty sweet because those are both characters that aren't tied to a specific actor. A Han Solo movie would be terrible. They would have to recast the role with a younger actor that could never live up to Harrison Ford. Did we learn nothing from Young Indiana Jones? That show was unwatchable. IF they make this movie, I'll still go see it. But I'm only gonna see it two or three times instead of twenty. Take that Star Wars!
Who do you think should get their own Star Wars movies? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!