State Declares Pedobear A Real Threat!?

Of  course we all know Pedobear as the beloved internet meme who is always quick with a smile and the promise of a king-sized Snickers bar. A lovable goof who can't comprehend that a three-year-old is underage. But apparently he is a very real threat to our children. Yes, it's true. I saw it on a local news program. HIDE YO KIDS!

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The New Mexico Attorney General apparently has nothing better to do and has started a public safety campaign to warn parents about the pervy allure of  the cuddly child-loving bear. They claim that pedophiles use stickers of their mascot to identify each other. I'm no expert on the minds of pedophiles, but I'm pretty sure the last thing they wanna do is proudly proclaim their sick desires to the world as they drive around trolling playgrounds. They like to go incognito, say as a respected college football coach, who parents trust and respect, who is allowed unfettered access to troubled teens. 

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All of this hubbub was because a few Pedobear stickers have been spotted in the state, which obviously indicates an increase in predatory behavior. Yeeeeeah. "The bear is cute," claims spokesperson Lynn Southard. "The bear is cute. But that is what the pedophiles are using to identify each other."

Since displaying Pedobear stickers is not illegal, the state is warning people who see one to act cautiously. How nice of the pedophiles to give us a warning! This world is doomed, right?

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Okay dumb dumbs. Pedobear may approve but he is not a real danger to society. The police should stop wasting their time looking for stickers and actually look for the the real life kid stickers. Am I right?

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Besides, if we wanna go after a fictional entity that promotes statutory rape and getting the hots for babies, I think we all know Twilight is the real danger.

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Here's a look at the stupidest local news report EVER.

What do you think? Is this the most ridiculous story you've ever seen? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

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