Summer Jobs You Should Avoid (If You Are A Girl)
Summer’s around the corner and you’re gonna need some green to finance your summer fun. And since a lot of that summer fun involves getting involved in Last Song-type summer romance (Minus the cancer and the absurd idea that Miley Cyrus would ever get into Julliard)… you need to find a job that pays and ups your appeal to the opposite sex. Trust me ladies… these jobs will have you saying FML all summer long.
Theme Park Character
A theme park seems like a great place to work during the summer. You’d think the guys would be lining up to get with you…especially when it’s kind of like getting with Princess Jasmine. But the newbies don’t get to be the hot princess, they get to be the lovable character in the hot-as-hell fur suit. And no one wants to get with Piglet. Especially when she has heat rash and a raging case of lady jock itch. It’s true...they do not wash those costumes.
All expenses paid trip to some fabulous summer resort? Sounds perfect! It’s not. You are there so the parents can have all the fun. Try picking up guys at the beach when you’re corralling three screaming brats…you’ll learn fast that the MILF is only a fantasy when the kids are out of the picture.
Any Job Anywhere Near The Jersey Shore
There is no reason to work near the Jersey Shore at summertime unless you want to do the walk of shame one morning wearing some d-bag’s Ed Hardy shirt because your tube top got sucked into a hot tub jet. The worst part is when he makes you take the t-shirt to the dry-cleaner’s before you return it to him. Don’t be some d-bag’s grenade this summer.
Renaissance Faire Wench
It’s all fun and games until you get put in shackles after giving some bloated horndog Henry VIII-wannabe a beating with a giant turkey leg. Nay means nay, dude. Get enlightened!
Here is another summer job that seems perfect. You’re at the beach every day. Chilling in your bathing suit on your lifeguard throne, looking like you own that stretch of sand! Cut to the sun poisoning, the endless jokes about your ‘floats’ and doing mouth to mouth on a senior citizen with no teeth . There isn’t enough Listerine in the world to get the taste of coffee, tapioca pudding and near-death out of your mouth.
Hot Dog On A Stick
Do you know how many times you will have to endure some idiot asking you if you like to eat hotdogs on a stick? Plus those polyester uniforms don’t breathe and it can get sweaty pumping that lemonade all day… also the trigger for more rude jokes. You will leave work every day feeling ashamed and smelling of greasy processed meat. There’s a reason they don’t make eau de corndog.
There are no desirable guys at summer camp. There are eight year olds, and there are guys that act like eight year olds. It’s a scientific fact that you can’t be attracted to a guy who goes on panty raids, and thinks it’s romantic to try to make you pee by sticking your hand in a glass of water while you’re sleeping . Besides, you don’t need to go to the boonies to have some horny guy try to make you one of his conquests all summer long.
It’s every girl’s dream to brush the mane of a pony as you feed it sugar cubes. However, doing what you gotta do to unlodge a compacted bowel is not part of this dream. Guys don’t make passes at girls who stick their arms up horse asses.
What’s the worst summer job you’ve ever had? Let us know in the comments!