Taylor Lautner's New Movie WORST Of The Year?

Taylor Lautner's new movie is out and the reviews are in! It hardcore sucks! In fact, last night it had a Rotten Tomato score of 0%. ZERO! This morning it's at 6% because a hack news outlet gave it a borderline 'not negative' review. But these are the same critics who gave the final Harry Potter movie a rotten and The Smurfs a fresh. So yeah, these critics are dead to me. They shall not be named. Abduction will always have a 0% rating in my heart. 

(source)

Even at an inflated 6%, this movie still is more hated than the Smurfs (24%) and Arthur (26%), two of the biggest critical bombs of the last year. I mean, the movie does look terrible. And was I the only one surprised to discover that this movie is not about abs, it's about a kidnapping. A title which the New York Post's Kyle Smith was happy do a little 'in your face!' wordplay with: “Actual abduction may be preferable to the movie of the same name, but only if your kidnappers don’t torture you by forcing you to watch it." OUCH! Guess Taylor should stick to what he does best...

(source)

Seriously? What is Hollywood thinking trying to make this kid a leading man? I think Slate Magazine put it best in their review: "This kid can’t carry a movie any more than Abigail Breslin can carry a refrigerator." I don't think we'll be seeing him on Inside the Actor's Studio anytime soon. And they pretty much let anyone on now. Here's an example of Taylor's 'acting,' which is just begging for some lewd Photoshop action:

(source)

So stop trying to shove Taylor Lautner down our throats, Hollywood, er...so to speak. He can't act and he has the charisma of a turd floating in a toilet bowl. His only purpose in life is to make Kristen Stewart look like a better actress by comparison.

(source)

He is not the NEXT Leonardo Di Caprio or hell, even the next Ryan Reynolds. He's Shark Boy with freakish abs. Although, I am slightly curious to see the moment that Movieline's Alison Whilmore is talking about here: "[T]his may be the first film I’ve even seen where when an actor goes to put his hand thoughtfully on his chin, it’s so awkward I became afraid he’d somehow miss and poke himself in the eye.” Get on it animated GIF makers!

(source)

What do you think? Do you plan on going to see this garbage? Please let me know why all the critics (except two who-shall-not-be-named) are wrong @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

Check Out 25 Facebook Fails: Twilight Edition!