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Taylor Lautner's New Movie WORST Of The Year?

Posted By: Desi Jedeikin on 09.23.11

Taylor Lautner's new movie is out and the reviews are in! It hardcore sucks! In fact, last night it had a Rotten Tomato score of 0%. ZERO! This morning it's at 6% because a hack news outlet gave it a borderline 'not negative' review. But these are the same critics who gave the final Harry Potter movie a rotten and The Smurfs a fresh. So yeah, these critics are dead to me. They shall not be named. Abduction will always have a 0% rating in my heart.

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Even at an inflated 6%, this movie still is more hated than the Smurfs (24%) and Arthur (26%), two of the biggest critical bombs of the last year. I mean, the movie does look terrible. And was I the only one surprised to discover that this movie is not about abs, it's about a kidnapping. A title which the New York Post's Kyle Smith was happy do a little 'in your face!' wordplay with: “Actual abduction may be preferable to the movie of the same name, but only if your kidnappers don’t torture you by forcing you to watch it." OUCH! Guess Taylor should stick to what he does best...

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Seriously? What is Hollywood thinking trying to make this kid a leading man? I think Slate Magazine put it best in their review: "This kid can’t carry a movie any more than Abigail Breslin can carry a refrigerator." I don't think we'll be seeing him on Inside the Actor's Studio anytime soon. And they pretty much let anyone on now. Here's an example of Taylor's 'acting,' which is just begging for some lewd Photoshop action:

(source)

So stop trying to shove Taylor Lautner down our throats, Hollywood, er...so to speak. He can't act and he has the charisma of a turd floating in a toilet bowl. His only purpose in life is to make Kristen Stewart look like a better actress by comparison.

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He is not the NEXT Leonardo Di Caprio or hell, even the next Ryan Reynolds. He's Shark Boy with freakish abs. Although, I am slightly curious to see the moment that Movieline's Alison Whilmore is talking about here: "[T]his may be the first film I’ve even seen where when an actor goes to put his hand thoughtfully on his chin, it’s so awkward I became afraid he’d somehow miss and poke himself in the eye.” Get on it animated GIF makers!

(source)

What do you think? Do you plan on going to see this garbage? Please let me know why all the critics (except two who-shall-not-be-named) are wrong @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

Check Out 25 Facebook Fails: Twilight Edition!

Tags: abduction, lautner, reviewed, rotten, smurfs, taylor, tomato, twilight, worst

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27 Comments

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jackoffthewall

10 weeks ago

abduction wasnt that good

Salxem

10 weeks ago

I hate twilight but abduction was NOT a bad movie at all.

Nessie_dean123

10 weeks ago

the 4th picture would feel kinda awkward...;/

~NeSs :D

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13 weeks ago

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werdnA99

17 weeks ago

Funny he is a dick

IanasEhtohi

28 weeks ago

When I saw Taylor Lautner in the commercial I thought "Wait, is this Twilight?"

watergirllizy

33 weeks ago

I saw it yesterday.. and it was super awesome!! (H)
don't hate on it! my brother has also seen it and even he liked it.. and no he doesn't like twilight or taylor lautner.. ;)

please give the movie a chance :)

loonloonyluna

34 weeks ago

The only thing I know about this movie is that Jason Isaacs is in it. Because my friend gave me a Harry Potter edition of Entertainment Weekly. I was hoping he would make it better. But it sounds like it's a peice of crap. Yeah, Jason Isaacs is cool. Lucius just creeps me out WAY too much.

jonnyelbambino

34 weeks ago

this movie had the potential story. But, it was a piece of crap. The dialogue was the main problem with the movie. He can't act very well.

nli553

34 weeks ago

I don't really like Taylor but the movie was soo good!

grace5865

34 weeks ago

He's a lot hotter than all of you fat people.

MrBoondock

34 weeks ago

Biggest knock off of The Bourne Identity

Nevershoutcait

34 weeks ago

I think hes the worst actor alive.

vampiregirl347

34 weeks ago

um no. i saw it today and it was fucking AMAZING.

vampiregirl347

34 weeks ago

um no. i saw it today and it was fucking AMAZING.

watergirllizy

34 weeks ago

I don't think it looks that bad. I think I am even going to see it.. but then again I also liked twilight and think taylor lautner is hot! ;) :D

yiqiwanga

34 weeks ago

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solidejake

34 weeks ago

I thought it looked terrible too, and are you making fun of Ryan Reynolds? That guy is awesome!

abbywho11

35 weeks ago

I thought the trailer looked ok and I loved sharkboy and lavagirl so I want to go see this movie then I can make my mind up. Plus half the reason I am going is to see how long Taylor can go before taking off his shirt that's a major bonus to any movie :)