Teen ARRESTED For Planking Spree?!
America was founded on the pursuit of happiness. A man can, nay, must do whatever he can to find happiness so long as he does no harm to others in this pursuit. And one of the pillars of this ideal is planking. We, as Americans, have an inalienable right to lie rigidly on whatever surface we find and take photographs with our goofball buddies. It's even in the Constitution. I mean, I think. I haven't actually read the Constitution.
I did plank on it once, though.
But this great American ideal was failed by the police of Manitowoc, Wisconsin, a town that sounds like a mythological monster. They've already fined 19 year old Alexander Hart 329 dollars and have arrested his brother Ryan Hart after discovering Facebook pictures of them planking at such locales as Lowe's, Wal-Mart, and an ATM.
So much fun.
Oh right. And the memorial for fallen police officers.
I've got to imagine less fun. Right?
Hart was charged with disorderly conduct, which is odd because if your body is disorderly in any way, you're not planking. And I hate to be the guy who asks if this is the city's best use of its' resources, but is this the city's best use of its' resources? If someone robs my apartment, I'd know in the morning because there would be broken glass and my TV and signed picture of Stone Cold Steve Austin would be missing. Let me know how anything would be different in my apartment if someone planked it last night.
The scene of the plank.
But should Alexander Hart have been fined 329 dollars? I'll grant that it's disrespectful to lie on a police memorial, but is it illegal disrespectful or boys-will-be-boys disrespectful? One police officer of Manitowoc said it was like planking on a gravestone, which is fair I suppose. But do you arrest someone for planking a gravestone, or do you shoo them off and chuckle as they scamper away to buy milkshakes from the nickel drug while you swing your billy club and whistle?
"Now you run on home and plank, all right? Ahh, yer good kids."
But I get it. It's different if you find someone planking the grave of your friends. So maybe next time you want to plank places people might find offensive, use Photoshop. Just save the layered file in case your cop Facebook friend thinks you're actually planking in a North Korean child labor camp.
Should this guy have been arrested for planking? What does this mean for the future of internet fads? Let us know what you think in the comments!