The Secret Text Messages of The Avengers

They keep a very low profile on Facebook. They almost never use Foresquare. And none of their accounts have been officially confirmed by Twitter. But that doesn’t mean the Avengers don’t occasionally reveal too much in their text messages…

 

Iron Man

avengers texts iron man hands

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Text Messages: “Stop sending me texts when I’m flying. The words appear in front of my face, causing me to crash into buildings.” “Pepper, aren’t I too rich and powerful to be typing my own text messages? Get me some sort of monkey assistant.” “BTW, did I mention I, Tony Stark, am Iron Man? I know I’m just responding to a confirmation text saying I paid my Verizon bill, but still thought you should know.” “Let’s just assume I made a another very witty quip so we can end this conversation.”

 

Captain America

avengers texts captain america chris evans

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Text Messages: “How on earth are people able to send words over their phones?!?” “When the hell did phones get so tiny and be able to show birds attacking pigs?!?” “Dear God, what the hell does ‘LOL’ mean?!? Is that code for ‘Los Angeles or Las Vegas’?!? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?” “Oooo! I can watch cat videos on this thing!”

 

Black Widow

avengers texts black widow explosion

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Text Messages: “I don’t date coworkers. Plus, last time you turned big and green I had to beat you unconscious.” “Oh crap, Nick, that message wasn’t meant for you. It was a secret for Putin.” “Sorry about the butt dialing but there’s like zero room in these pants.” “Stop sending me naked photos of yourself, Loki.”

 

Hawkeye

avengers texts hawkeye bow arrow

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Text Messages: “I’m the one with the bow and arrow. No, not Katniss.” “Of course I’m a valuable member of the team. When it’s time for lunch who do you think they ask to write down the orders?” “Please stop calling me the Green Arrow. That hurts my feelings” “Saw my face on the poster for the new Bourne movie. Now I’m really confused about my back story.”

 

Thor

avengers texts thor cityscape green

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Text Messages: “On Asgard we don’t need phones because we’re gods.” “On Asgard we would consider roaming charges immoral.” “On Asgard people who keep sending FarmVille requests would be stripped of all their powers.” “Well, maybe it’s so great I DO want to marry Asgard!”

 

The Hulk

avengers texts the hulk screams

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Text Messages: “It’s Bruce again. Sorry about losing cool earlier but THIS SEASON OF ‘GLEE’ MAKE HULK WANT TO SMASH!!!” “HULK BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES! HAVING TROUBLE FINDING SHIRT!!!” “HULK TIRED OF GETTING UNENDING STREAM OF ONE-WORD RESPONSES!!! ‘HI’ AND ‘HAHA’ DO NOT A CONVERSATION MAKE!!!” “SOMEONE PLEASE TELL HULK HOW TO UNDO CAPS LOCK ON PHONE!!!”

 

Nick Fury

avengers texts nick fury samuel jackson

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Text Message: “GET YOUR ****ING HEADS IN THE ****ING GAME OR I WILL **** YOU UP, YOU ****ING AVENGERS!!!”

 

What superheroes do you wish would kiss your tears off your face when you cry? Let us know in the comments!

 

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