Things I Wish I Had Known Before Entering My First Year of College

It’s back to school time and for some of you lucky ducks, that means you’re entering your first year of College. Before I entered my freshman year I was a devout student in the school of ‘What College Is According to Film and TV.’ I thought that every hang-out would follow the same entertaining plots as an episode of “Boy Meets World,” or perhaps the same life lessons as an episode of “Degrassi: The Next Generation.” Instead, my experience was intensely different, but still incredibly life-altering. Here are my observations:

1. Pick Your Relationships Wisely

The guy who insists you play beer pong with him at the Friday party is not your real friend, nor is he boyfriend material. However, the girl that sends you all of her notes for the entire Psych 101 course probably thinks you’re cute.  

2. Studying Through Distractions

Inevitably, there will always be the jabbing hum of heavy metal coursing it's way down the hall of your freshman dorm. And it will inevitably happen during your study sessions for finals week.

3. Fast Food

Having 3 or more fast food chains walking distance from your space is not an appropro substitute for a meal plan.

4. Seniors

Seniors of the opposite sex that invite you to a party Orientation weekend aren't into platonically taking you under their wing. And again, they are not boyfriend or girlfriend material.

5. Project Runway

There will almost always be a “Project Runway” marathon playing in the common area.

6. Microwave Oven Rules

Don't melt a chocolate bar in your dorm microwave in the middle of the night because you wanted that nostalgic s’mores midnight snack. Your entire building will hate you when they have to evacuate due to the fire alarm at 3am.

7. You Don't Have To Be Friends With Everybody

I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but dorm life puts this immense pressure that the people you pair yourself up with within the first week of college life will be your friends for life - sometimes, you just don't get along and there's no amount of character analysis surveys you fill out through residential life nor late night introspective talks about Gilmore Girls that will remedy that.

Go out, get a job, make friends outside - sometimes it's nice to have that breath of fresh air to return to.

8. The Food Network

You will discover a whole new appreciation for the food network.

Now that you're out of the house and out of family meals - you'll find yourself up late at night salivating over Top Chef or passionately dreaming about what Bobby Flay would make you. This is normal.

9. You Will Pick Up Weird Hobbies

I was the baking girl. (If you decide you want to be the “baking girl” or the “cookie boy,” I highly recommend it – people will remember you, like you, and follow you around in anticipation for your next homemade batch of cinnamon buns.

10. There's An 80% Chance You Won't Meet The Love Of Your Life

It's a common misconception that college life leads to married life, this may be true for some but untrue for most. Stop staring into Jeff from the 3^rd floor’s big baby blues or Sarah from the on-campus apartments’ deep brown eyes trying to imagine how you’ll articulate your lovebird meet-cute story to your future unborn children. If it ain’t right, don’t push it.

Check Out The 15 Most Offensive High School Team Mascots!

Tags: college, comedy, first year, funny, humor, photos, pics, things I wish I knew