SMOSH PIT

Tiger Woods is Just Not That Into You

Posted By: Sarah on 02.23.10

Sarah's weekly post on what America is doing with its life.

This past week Tiger Woods recited the 5-minute apology he has been working on for the past 3 months for his “sexual indiscretions.”

In it, he managed fairly empty apologies to the general public, his wife, and his children. But he didn’t seem to have time to fit in an apology to any of the 15 plus women he took down with him.

I don't seeeeee you.

Tiger apologized to golf, to children in general, and to Buddhism a bunch. He expressed his anger towards the paparazzi for a while.

Tiger apologized to everyone and everything
-- except his mistresses.

He then goes back to Buddhism again: the disgraced golfer claimed that looking for fulfillment outside oneself leads to unhappiness, which didn’t quite fit to make sense of his plight or prove his alleged love for his wife.

I don’t know Elin, if he cheats on you with 15+ women and needs to adopt a religion to stay faithful to you: Tiger Woods is just not that into you.

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29 Comments

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cloudeater

71 weeks ago

stop spamming, you freaking mess up smosh !
and I'll tell you guys a secret, but don't tell anyone:
those 4 steps and s*x homepages don't work ;o

wiiman124

82 weeks ago

bit . ly/jerku

JessicaRessica

87 weeks ago

PLEASE DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT som

Zhx12

90 weeks ago

leave the guy alone, if you firetrucked a prostitute would you want everyone else to know? -_-

austinw79

95 weeks ago

shoot if he doesnt want elin ill take her.

jinjanco23

97 weeks ago

tiger woods is a fag, its just because hes black that everyone adores him....racist!

kitta123

101 weeks ago

Mrandomfinger you rock! And also why can't he just go back to his sport really? I'm really sick of hearing about this. Funny article thing but kind of getting annoying and boring.

shellbellmel

101 weeks ago

ppl should leev the man alone
its his personal business wht (or who) he does in his spare time
im not saying cheating is ok
but imagine doing something stupid and then having the whole world hate y

Mrrandomfingers

101 weeks ago

whats the difference between santa and tiger woods .................................................. ...........................santa knows how to stop at three hos

TheRealMystery

102 weeks ago

Sorry mistresses, but I really don't think they deserve any kind of apology (considering they were apart of the problem). But hey, that's just me. :P Sorry for the long message. :/

TheRealMystery

102 weeks ago

then finding out he's married with kids or is in a relationship with another woman in any way shape or form, I'd back off immediately! Sorry mistresses, but I really don't think they deserve any kind

TheRealMystery

102 weeks ago

The mistresses knew who he was, so why wouldn't they be aware he has a WIFE AND KIDS?? I mean, c'mon! If I met a guy who I thought was really cute and just the best, then finding out he's married with

TheRealMystery

102 weeks ago

Yes, she felt betrayed by Tiger because he cheated on HER with more mistresses. Well uh... excuse me mistress #whatever, you were one of them! Elin is the one who should feel this "betrayal." The mist

TheRealMystery

102 weeks ago

supermel_69, I totally agree with you! I saw a little bit of an interview of one of his mistresses saying that SHE (of all people!) felt "betrayed." [?!] Okay, but what?! Yes, she felt betrayed by Tig

danineteen

102 weeks ago

I still haven't see the apology. I guess I should find it on YouTube or something.