Top 10 Suckiest Smurfs
We all love the Peyo creation of ‘The Smurfs’. Saturday mornings used to be owned by these little blue shirtless, singing mini midgets. So many favorites: Papa Smurf, Hefty Smurf, Brainy Smurf and of course Smurfette. But from the hundreds are the lesser known more annoying Smurfs that only occasionally made an appearance on the show. Our crack team spent thousands of hours forwarding through old VHS tapes to find these lesser known, annoying Smurfs:
10. Rehab Smurf
“Winner, winner Smurfy dinner.” This Smurf was always the one in the background sniffing flowers and drinking berry juice he fermented in a Smurf toilet for weeks. As many times as Papa Smurf and the gang tried getting him clean through “the program” he would come out of it all self righteous but then be back to his Smurf-cracky self within a few days.
9. Hippie Smurf
This smelly Smurf would let his freak flag fly hanging out atop mushrooms. Not those cute red and blue mushrooms but the weird stringy ones growing out of cow dung.
8. New Papa Smurf
This fresh new father acts like he’s the first guy to ever have a baby. Always annoying Brainy Smurf and the rest with constantly posting Smurf baby pics to his Facebook page. And his constant berating of Smurfette for not having kids after all these years makes this the last Smurf you want bringing his bundle of joy to all the Smurf party ragers.
7. Emo Smurf
This former ‘Smurfy Seconds to Mars’ lead singer was rarely seen on the show since he spent most his days at Smurf Topic hanging out in the Invader Zim section.
6. Political Smurf
Maybe the most annoying Smurf of them all. Political Smurf constantly sweated the other Smurfs to sign political petitions and was constantly picketing events with signs that would read ‘Vote Gargamel’.
5. Sporty Smurf
The loudest and angriest Smurf. Constantly drunk and yelling at the Smurf bar TV screens. Changing his allegiances to whatever team is winning. And there’s never an end to it. From Smurfball to Basketsmurf, he doesn’t even seem to care what sport he’s watching as long as he can make an ass of himself publicly.
4. Starbucks Smurf
This caffeine obsessed weeble wakes up with headaches if he doesn’t get to the local Starbucks within 15 minutes of waking up. And the worst part is he’ll refuse going to Coffee Bean or Seattle’s Best even if they are closer to his house. He has a crush on several baristas and sits for hours drinking the refillable cup he brought while typing on his blog.
3. Ed Hardy Smurf
The Smurf village’s gift to fashion, Ed Hardy Smurf buys all his clothes, you guessed it, Ed Hardy. After graduating from ‘No Fear’ shirts he often smells like Axe Body Spray and is constantly blasting Dave Matthews Band from his mushroom house.
2. Glee Smurf
This Smurf is obsessed with the Tuesday night Fox show and is constantly singing the songs the next day, starts every sentence with, “Remember on Glee..?” and is constantly throwing cherry Slurpees in everybody’s face. Hopefully the obsession will end as soon as True Blood comes back on the air.
1. Banksy Smurf
This Smurf caught onto the street art phenomenon after seeing, Exit Through The Gift Shop and now spends all his money at Home Depot buying cardboard, and spray paint calling himself, ‘Mister Brain Smurf’.
Which Smurf do you hate the most? Tell us in the comments below!