Top Ten Super Nintendo Games As Chosen By Pokemon!
Every list ranking the best Super Nintendo games consists of seven games no one gave a sh*t about and some shuffling of Mario World, Metroid, and Zelda. Uninteresting. But maybe the problem is that all these lists are penned by video game journalists, who are mainly white males who have an axe to grind against a) their parents and b) publishers who offer day one DLC. Is the answer then to diversify, maybe get some different ethnicities and genders writing about video games? I say no! That does not go far enough! Let's get another species to put together a list! Here are the top ten Super Nintendo games of all time as chosen by these Pokemon!
10. Contra III
Pikachu believed Contra III to be a little too "PIKACHUUU" while Blastoise disagreed, saying "BLASTOOOOISSE".
9. "Street Fighter II"
Simply writing this list item as "Street Fighter II" is the ultimate compromise. The Pokemon could not stop fighting about which version to select between Super Street Fighter II, Street Fighter II: Turbo, Super Street Fighter II: Maximum Carnage, Le Streete Fightierre Deux: Turbouex, and Street Fighter III: Street Fighter II edition (which didn't make sense).
This game earned a place on the list when Chancey argued "CHANCEY!" It was most persuasive.
7. Star Fox
This game would have ranked much higher if Zubat hadn't been all Zubat about it. He apparently wasn't able to play this game growing up, and as he started to relay why, it brought up a lot of emotions in Zubat. After planning this Super Nintendo list, the Pokemon started putting together a Top Ten Adult Children of Alcoholic Parents Meeting Centers Zubat Should Check Out list.
6. Donkey Kong Country 2
There was a huge argument over which Donkey Kong Country to include on this list, but Donkey Kong Country 2 was settled upon when DEOXYS used PRESSURE!
5. Chrono Trigger
This game was incredibly divisive amongst the Pokemon — Chancey thought it was incredily Chancey while it put Jigglypuff to sleep!
ED. NOTE — All things put Jigglypuff to sleep.
4. Secret of Mana
This game made it so high up on the list after an emotional Snorlax gave an impassioned speech to the group. "Snorlax" he said. And there was not a dry eye in the room. This is why we play video games.
3. Super Mario World
Listen, even amongst a different species, even one that's fictional, it's pretty clear what the three best games are for Super Nintendo. Can you guess what's going to be number 2? You literally have a 50/50 shot if you've ever even taken a glance at a Super Nintendo.
2. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
It's Zelda. So, great. Since the top three is so uninteresting, here's a fun side story: There was actually an argument to put Clay Fighter on the list above Zelda being made by Mategross! That dude is meta gross.
1. Super Metroid
Obviously this is the best Super Nintendo game. Even these idiot Pokemon monsters thought so, and they're basically brain dead. Honest to God, they are so dumb. Like, Clefable likes The Matrix Reloaded better than The Matrix and Alakazam caucused for Rick Santorum and Moltres just straight up choked to death on his own saliva.
The point is, Super Metroid is pretty great.
Which calls did the Pokemon make that you totally agree with? Where did the Pokemon go wrong? Let us know in the comments!