Top Ten Top Ten Lists of 2011!
During the week between Christmas and New Year's, pop culture shuts down. TV shows stop airing new episodes, video games stop coming out, even radio plays nothing but the placeholder sounds of raindrops falling into barrels of water and Michael Buble. So really, the only thing to do this time of year is to read top ten lists looking back at the year that was. It's like opening the fridge after you haven't been shopping in weeks and finding a ton of half-eaten McDonald's hamburgers. It's not ideal, but what else are you going to eat, wise guy? Store's closed. With that in mind, here are the top ten top ten lists of 2011.
10. Top Ten Hometown Hotties, Maxim
I don't know the criteria to be a hometown hottie, but I think you just have to have been born in a town.
9. Awesomeman 32795's Top Ten GBA Games of All Time, Awesomeman 32795
There is no way to discuss Awesomeman 32795's list of top Game Boy Advance games without talking about the ranking that shocked the world: Advance Wars 2?! At number 7?! Was this controversial move a stroke of madness? Or genius? Or neither?
The answer is neither.
8. Top 10 Movies of 2011, Rolling Stone
The best part about this list is that it has ten movies that it lists in order of quality starting at number ten and ending with number one.
7. Top Ten Animal Rights Protests, International Business Times
Animal rights protests have a bad stigma, but let's not forget that they often feature people being naked in public and/ or dressing up as animals and throwing fake blood on rich people. So clearly they have their place in the world.
6. Top 10 Marriage Blogs of 2011, StupendousMarriage.com
These ten marriage blogs saved my marriage more times than I can count. Granted, I'm not married, I've never even kissed a girl, but if I had, I would often consult these blogs. These are the kind of blogs that make me want to scream "I wish there was even one human being capable of loving me!" more often than I normally do.
5. Top Ten Top Ten Lists, Smosh.com
Sure, some might think it tacky to include yourself on a top ten list, but this is a great list. I've shown it to some people and they all agree it's great. I worked hard on it and it shows.
4. Top Ten Questions to Ask Yourself Before Running the New York Marathon, Late Night with David Letterman
I'll never forget tuning into Late Night with David Letterman that night, and my anticipation for the Top Ten list was at a fevered pitch. I was all "What could it be about? Top Ten Top Ten Dumb Celebrities? And then it came up as the New York Marathon and I was like "Of course! That thing going on in a city I don't live in!" You know it's a great twist when it's both completely shocking and makes total sense. Thanks for an amazing moment, Dave. This Top Ten about New York bagels or whatever it was is one I'll never forget.
3. Top Ten Beaches, a website that is actually calling itself DrBeach.org
Some goofball actually went around to at least ten beaches and called it "research". Good scam, buddy. Good scam. Wait until next year when you see my list of "Top Ten Couches to Lay On and Not Do Jack Sh*t All Day On" and "Top Ten Beds" and "Top Ten Delicious Fruit Drinks in Hawaaii that the Website I Work At Paid For and Also the Hawaaiian Vacation They Paid For Too".
2. Top Ten Most Pirated TV Shows, ZDNet
I was really pulling for my favorite show, Breaking Bad, to be at the top of this list, which is why I pirated so much of it. At least, that's what I'll be telling the the U.S. Department of Customs Enforcement.
1. Top 10 Everything of 2011, Time
How could this not be the number one item on our list? It's the top ten of everything. I started looking through this list and got tired after a couple hours, but when it says it has the top Everything of 2011, it really means it has the top everything. That includes the top ten purple popsicles, top ten alarm clocks, top ten dead animals brought back to life by way of Frankenstein technology, top ten monkey paws, top ten things that aren't things, top ten episodes of Game of Thrones, top ten scenes from Game of Thrones, top ten scenes from the top ten episodes of Game of Thrones, top ten breads, top ten cyberpunk graphic novels, top ten nail-biters (intense scenes from movies), top ten nail-biters (human beings who bite their nails), top ten sand snakes, top ten former United States presidents, top ten raspberry smoothies, top ten Resident Evil 2 memories, top ten ukulele songs to play if you only know G, C, and D, top ten screams (women), and top ten fiction books.
Where does this Top Ten Top Ten List List fit into your year-end list of Top Ten Top Ten Top Ten Lists Lists List? List your Top Ten Top Ten Top Ten Lists Lists List in the comments! Top ten!