Totally Real Fast Food Products from Overseas
Sure, America’s the land that introduced the Double Down (a “sandwich” that uses fried chicken breasts in lieu of a bun) and the McGriddle (a “breakfast sandwich” that uses syrup-injected pancakes in lieu of a bun) to the world. When it comes to absurd fast food, however, it’s not the only game in town. So the next time Mr. Foodie gets all up in your grill and tells you that America’s the sole source of bad grub on this planet, remind him that, much like Madea, the international eateries on this list can do bad all by themselves. (Yes, I just made a Tyler Perry reference – what of it?)
Bacon Potato Pie from McDonald’s
Bacon. Potato. Pie. Three things all Americans hold dearer than The Constitution. Mix them together and what do you have? Diabetes-inducing bliss. There’s just one little problem, though. The only place it can be purchased is Japanese McDonald’s. Why, God? WHY?!?
Hash Brown Burger from Jolibee
Exactly as the name would imply, this Frankenstein's monster of a hamburger places a meat patty and ketchup between two school cafeteria-looking hash browns. From Jolibee, the Filipino chain that sells hot dogs on spaghetti as well as something called "Tuna Pie." Shudder.
Winter Double King Pizza from Pizza Hut
Ahem. Mayo, crab, shrimp, beef, onion, broccoli, corn, egg and potato…all piled on a damn pizza. Enveloped in a shrimp and mayonnaise stuffed crust. Only one brain trust could have come up with something this outrageous: Pizza Hut Japan. (Although, one could argue that Pizza Huts in the Middle East have now trumped Japanese Pizza Huts in terms of ridiculousness, what with their recent introduction of the Crown Crust Burger Pizza, a pizza whose crust is – you guessed it – made out of cheeseburgers.)
McRice from McDonald’s
Despite the fact that it’s an official sponsor of the 2012 Summer Olympic Games, McDonald’s is NOT athlete quality food. Which is why when McDonald’s restaurants in the Philippines decided to place their burgers on health-conscious rice cakes instead of buns, they failed miserably. Give the people what they want, dammit!
Fois Gras Burger from Wendy’s
You’d be hard pressed to find a burger anywhere that costs $16, let alone at Wendy’s. But Japan, always on the cutting edge of incredibly expensive, incredibly eccentric merchandise, has now filled this non-existent niche. One Wendy's Fois Gras Burger, topped with a generous portion of fatty goose liver, can be had for the same amount as four Baconators. I guess it’s quality over quantity, but since when do people care about that?
Wasabi Cheese Donut from Dunkin’ Donuts
Donuts are sweet. Wasabi is spicy. Cheese...uh...isn’t spicy, but it sure as hell isn’t sweet. What gives, Singapore Dunkin' Donuts? Do you exclusively manufacture edible brain benders, or what?
Wedding Cake from Mr. Bigg’s
Along with items like "Tasty Fiesta" (a wedge-shaped foodstuff that defies logic) and Scotch Eggs (hard-boiled eggs wrapped in sausage and deep-fried), Nigerian fast food chain Mr. Bigg’s also sells wedding cakes – albeit wedding cakes that say "Happy Birthday" on them (according to their website, this image is of a wedding cake). No wonder they only have 51 likes on Facebook.
Cheese Katsu Sandwich from McDonald’s
Ah, Japanese McDonald’s. We meet again. This time you’ve brought us a fried pork patty, stuffed with cheese and smothered in mayonnaise and teriyaki sauce. Why are you doing this to us? What have we ever done to you? Oh, right. WWII. Sorry about that.
Burger Salad from Hesburger
This Finnish fast food chain’s “salad” is essentially just two big-ass hamburger patties and a piece of bacon artlessly thrown on top of some iceberg lettuce. Atkins approved!
Seen any other delightfully absurd international fast-foodstuffs lately? Let me know in the comments, or tell me @Bornferal!