Twilight: Breaking Dawn Breaks Box-Office Records!

The penultimate chapter of the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn, was released this weekend and broke box-office records by becoming the fifth-highest grossing opening of all time. So maybe it's not so much a record-breaking opening as it is a fifth place record-breaking. It's like winning the copper medal. In any event, that is a startling success for a movie that features so much chess.

"What does that piece do?"

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 made 139.5 million dollars. For comparison, that's 139,499,998.75 dollars more than the brownie I bought this morning from my local Spanish bakery!

It wasn't great.

So while this is obviously a huge opening for Breaking Dawn, it still feel slightly short of New Moon, which holds the franchise's record with an opening weekend of 169.2 million dollars. I can't figure out why the Twilight films don't get bigger as time goes on. Maybe New Moon did better than Breaking Dawn because it didn't have any full grown men falling in love with babies. But then again, neither did J. Edgar, and that made even less than Breaking Dawn. So now I don't know what to think.

The werewolf transformation scenes in J. Edgar were pretty sub-standard.

The only question left for the Twilight series is how well it's final chapter, Breaking Dawn Part 2, will fare when it's released next year. Will it beat Harry Potter's finale and claim the all-time opening weekend record? We might be able to guess more accurately if we took the openings of the other Twilight movies and, you know, like, made a graph? Yeah. Yeah, I could probably do that.

I don't know how to make graphs.


Were you one of the many, many fans who caught Breaking Dawn this weekend? If so, then, uh, yeah. That full-grown man sure fell in love with a baby, didn't he? Tell us how that's sitting with you in the comments.

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