Two-Sentence Movie Review #1: Get Him To The Greek & More...

Smosh Pit resident film critic,ThatJerkDan, sums up this past weekend's top five films at the box office.

Get Him To The Greek

The most annoying British guy in the world teams up with the guy's whose chin played the monster in Cloverfield. It's like watching a 90-minute Youtube video of a grizzly bear taking a dump on a fart machine.

Prince Of Persia

A movie based on a video game about a magical dagger that slows down time... That feels like you've stared into a sandstorm for two weeks after you've finished sitting through the whole stupid thing.

The Killers

Spoiler Alert: Neither of these characters dies in this movie. But you will want to kill yourself after you've finished watching it.

Sex And The City 2

You know there's a problem with the SATC Film when even the male hairdressers on meth in the theater are booing and throwing popcorn at the screen. This movie is more of a letdown than finding out that Sarah Jessica Parker isn't the prettiest middle-aged drag queen in the world, but just a very unattractive woman with creepy, overly ripped, veiny, old lady Madonna arms.

Shrek The Final Chapter 3D

It's Shrek Vs. The Slim Jim Guy Vs. the fact that you aren't a little kid anymore and these movies are just annoying now. Why couldn't they just do a movie about Shrek becoming a sexy pouting vampire or a brooding werewolf?
 

If Movies Were Real!