Two-Sentence Movie Reviews 3: Toy Story & More...

Toy Story 3

One of the best animated movies of all time.

And, no, I wasn’t crying at the end; those 3-D glasses just make my eyes water.

 

Jonah Hex

Jonah Hex proves that guns can’t solve all of your problems.

However, killing people with these guns sometimes helps a little.

 

Cyrus

This movie isn’t about a fat guy who swallows Miley Cyrus and gets a stomach from it.

If you can get beyond this fact then you might think this movie is pretty funny.

 

Marmaduke

Just like watching videos of dogs taking dumps on lawns for two hours on YouTube.

Except way more expensive and a lot less entertaining.

 

Adopted

Pauly Shore goes to Africa to adopt a baby and isn’t killed by gun-toting militiamen.

And that’s just one of the many reasons why this movie sucks.

 

The Nature Of Existence

This movie is kind of deep but sometimes it’s good to reflect on the important questions in life.

Such as, “How come there are always way more yellow Sour Patch Kids than red ones in a pack?”

 

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