These Heroes Have The Most Unrealistic Male Bodies In Comics
By their very nature, superheroes aren't supposed to hold any particular verisimilitude to you or I as actual people. However, it's hard for society not to internalize these idols as perfect physical beings. Over time, the unrealistic body images for men in comics have become more and more pronounced. An increase in muscle size and physical stature has become exponentially rampant in comic book characters, sometimes to visceral and grotesque degrees. Here's a look at some unrealistically ripped characters that don't ever need to hit the gym to stay perfectly toned:
This is the definitive example of unrealistic body image standards in comic books. It's the gold standard for over the top muscles. The grotesque over-built muscles turn American's First Avenger into a comical extra in the background of Pain & Gain.
Yeah sure, Batman is supposed to be ripped. I'll believe that. But frickin look at him in this picture. Imagine him as billionaire Bruce Wayne with this jacked a bod? How are any of us supposed to live up to that? "Hey I'm a billionaire and also my quad and calf muscles are so huge that the make my knee look like an hourglass." And no wonder Batman can't turn his head — It ain't the suit, it's the fact that normal humans have a neck where this guy has a third bicep.
This is the Tim Drake Robin. So he's, like, 16 or 17 years old in this pic. Let that sink in. At that age, some people haven't even finished puberty. They're just trying to conceal their acne, not the fact that they have statuesque 8 pack abs to fight crime.
Which has more muscles: Namor or the ocean? Answer: The Ocean. But Namor is still jacked as hell in this picture.
Forget Shredd-er, these Turtles are "shred-ed". Also they are turtles. But turtles are cute as all get-out. Basically this is a perfect blending of cute and buff-ass muscles. AND THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE!
Cyclops is supposed to be a nerd with glasses. This guy looks like he could use his abs as an abacus in a base-six system of counting.
Iron Man looks hard as rock, and not just cause he is wearing metal suit. His muscles are actually more powerful than the armor he is wearing. That's like seeing a medieval knight so built you can actually see his pecs cause shaping the armor he's wearing.
Look at his legs! They are like trees trunks! Metal tree trunks. And his pose suggests that he is also scholarly and thoughtful. Colossus is the complete package, ladies. No real man can hope to compete with him.
This is the only picture known to man where someone is pulling off the unitard swimsuit from Borat.
Not all unrealistic body image comes with muscles. The villainous Kingpin looks like the size of a wall here. Imagine him posting you up in a game of pick-up basketball. Dude could probably palm my head and pick me up off the ground without raising his hand above his waist.
I'm not that slender and tall! NO ONE IS. This guy is svelte as hell and JUST LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS HANDS! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THIS GUY!
This is one of the most unrealistic standards for beauty I have come across. I mean just. look. At that. MULLET. It's frickin' glorious! No living man could have a mullet so well maintained, so flawless. It's unfair to pretend like it is even attainable. Also: Dat butt doe.
Okay now it is just getting absurd. Here is a pic of Wolverine that I am not sure guy could ever live up to. I mean, he is so swole in this picture that his tongue has taken the shape of a human woman fully dress with red hair that he has to support with his arms. My tongue can't do that. I can barely curl my tongue, let alone personify it as a human lady.
Know of more absurd superhero that makes you feel like less of a man in comparison? Vent about it with me on Twitter or in the comments below!
These people failing at the gym might help improve all the self-esteem you just lost!
