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Upsetting Things You Didn't Know About Pikachu

As adorable as Pikachu are, and they are adorable, they are still animals. Animals that are in many ways very different than us, and not everything about them is as cute and cuddly as you might think.

They Tend To Eat Their Young

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Pikachu are first and foremost hungry mammals, and will consume any source of protein put in front of them, even if it is their own young. Mother Pikachus must be separate from their babies for a period of several weeks or you'll wake up one morning to find a very fat mama Pikachu and a cage full of tiny bones.

They Make Nests Out Of Their Own Dung

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Pikachu dung is rich in fibers that are great for building nests. But there are a variety of reasons why Pikachus use their own waste to construct homes. The smell, which is potent, keeps away predators, and it is a veritably unlimited source of building materials. An added horror here is when a mother Pikachu eats her young and then uses the dung she excretes after she eats her own children to make a nest, essentially building herself a house out of the remains of her own children.

They Have Low Self Esteem

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When it comes to self esteem Pikachus rate just below teen starlets for worst self esteem on the planet. Nothing's less flattering than hearing Pikachus go on and on about how they're getting fat and they feel like one of their legs is shorter than the other. Plus if you really don't pay attention to them they turn into cutters.

They Get Lazy When They're Spayed Or Neutered

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While it's the law to spay or neuter a Pikachu, it's always a bummer when you do. When a Pikachu loses it's sex drive it loses its desire to do much of anything. It just sits like a lump on the couch licking itself and barely electrocuting anything.

They Give Birth Orally

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A child being born is the most beautiful thing in the world, it symbolizes hope, possibility, a new chance. Unless it's born by being slowly puked up through the unhinged jaws of a cringing, sweaty Pikachu.

They Prefer The Tim Burton Remake Of Planet Of The Apes To The Original

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What's their problem? Are they retarded? I MEAN COME ON.

They Killed JFK

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A conspiracy that involved the mafia, the CIA, the FBI, and several disaffected Pikachu who were tired of the way Pikachu in the United States were being treated as second class citizens. But is a history of slavery and "separate but equal" Pikachu restaurants and bathrooms a good enough reason to take down the President?

What are some other ways Pikachu aren't as cute as they seem? Let us know in the comments!

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Tags: daniel, didn't, dominguez, know, pikachu, pokemon, upsetting