Very Best of FMLife: Breakup Edition!

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There is nothing worse in life than relationships. They take up all your money, your time, and your mental health. But there is nothing worse than a relationship ending!

 

THERE'S BEEN AN INCIDENT

surgeon doing surgery

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

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I set 'em up, I knock 'em down

embarrassed in classToday, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

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The magic never ends

cinderella at disneylandToday, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

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Hey. HEY.

sleepy girl

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

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An offer someone can't refuse

100 dollar billToday, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

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Weird favor to ask of you...

mom on phone Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

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Stuffed with, well, not love

boyfriend with bearToday, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

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Error 37

playing MMOs

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

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Decisive!

crossing arms

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

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