Very Best Of FMLife: Computer Edition!

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Because I have over 14 grandchildren, I'm no longer able to understand computers. What are they, wizard boxes? Can they fix me back from all its spasms? If not then they're no good to me! But then again, my life is already F'ed. My life was F'ed a long, long time ago.

 

But I heard it on the NEWS!

holding cd

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

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For the World Championship

pro wrestlingToday, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

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It's ELECTRIC!

static electricityToday, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

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Perchance to dream

sleeping on keyboard

Today, I was trying to write an essay for school while sleep deprived. After getting 7 pages into it, I crashed face-first onto the keyboard and slept for 20 minutes. When I woke up, my essay was nothing more than a blank document. My face had been pressing the Backspace button the entire time. FML

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I'm going to need you to Think Different

eject iconToday, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

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Small children are unintelligent

laptop light
Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

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And Mom said I'd never amount to anything

wrist braceToday, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

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Have I been doing this wrong?

pressing space bar

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

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DOGGONE IT

shouting at girl with megaphone

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

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