Very Best Of FMLife: HUNGER Edition
Everyone gets hungry! No, really though. Absolutely everyone gets hungry. Even your teacher. Even your grandma. Even you. Even your substitute teacher. But the best part about hunger is that you can simply eat some food to get rid of it! Unless your life is Fed. Then it might be a little more challenging.
Always Look For Loopholes
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
I Take The Weirdest Baths
Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML
This Is What You Call Justice?!
Today, I spent my date night babysitting. After waiting three hours later than I was supposed, the mother finally gets home at 11, too late for me to get out and have any fun. Already annoyed, I take the money as she says, "I hope this is enough, I got hungry and spent some of your money." FML
Learning To Share
Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some cheez-its I had in my room. After I had enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML
YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
Annunciate Your Memes
Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML
Burying The Lead
Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML
Do They Charge Extra For That?
Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
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