Very Best Of FMyLife: Cars Edition!
Driving seems like the ultimate freedom when you're a kid. But then you actually start driving and realize it brings on a whole new set of crap you have to deal with. That's where FMylife comes in, collecting worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best FML moments about dads!
A Bit Premature, If You Ask Me
Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML
Fine Girls Be Distractin', Yo
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
You Could Say You Were Playing Hard To Get
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Always Run Over The Dog
Today, I was driving and I saw was a dog running onto the road, I slammed on the brakes to a completely stop. Multiple cars crashed into the back of my car. It turns out it wasn't a dog, it was just newspaper blown by the wind. FML
Beware The Traffic OF THE DAMNED
Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML
Now You Can Teach Her The Ultimate Lesson
Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
At Least He was TRYING To See Better
Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML
Say It's All The Rage In Europe
Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML
So, did you help him or what?
Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML
Let That Be A Lesson
Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
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