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Very Best Of FMyLife: Creepy Old Man Edition

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Creepy old men are great because they live in the shadows and reach their leathery hands out to grab us while we sleep, But sometimes creepy old men can be a real bummer too. That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best creepy old men moments this week!

 

Are You Not Entertained?!

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

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Wisdom Comes With Age

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

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Maybe Your Sister Has Old Balls For A Hand

Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year old man's junk. FML

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We All Miss Leslie

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

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He's Probably Going To **** The Grim Reaper

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

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Take. The. Compliment.

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

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It Just Feels Good To Be Noticed

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

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That Means You Get To Make A Wish!

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

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A Free Drink? You Lucky Dog!

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

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12 weeks ago

Haha last one rape

12 weeks ago

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13 weeks ago

I swear, the 4th happened to me last week -.- Old people are creepy.

LN

13 weeks ago

UGH, I know the feeling! When I was like 16, a man in my district (I hand out direct mail ads..) kept calling me beautiful and pretty. He was like 60 or something like that >.< and just the other day when I was walking to the bus, an even older man called me a "lady" for some reason O.o

13 weeks ago

Use to work in a retirement home smells like death

13 weeks ago

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13 weeks ago

The last one reminds me of that mission in Heavy Rain. Do not take a drink from an unknown old man ever.

13 weeks ago

lol :D

13 weeks ago

Im Now scared of OLD People

13 weeks ago

O.o The fourth one....my name's Leslie. :(

13 weeks ago

O_O Never trust old people.
.LMFAO.

13 weeks ago

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13 weeks ago

God these would be some freaky experiences

13 weeks ago

I would run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run if i was the last person. I wonder what would've happened if their friend didnt call O.o

13 weeks ago

O_O Never trust old people.

13 weeks ago

LMFAO.

13 weeks ago

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13 weeks ago

ohhhhh creepy!

13 weeks ago

if i was that last dude, i would of just ran the F**K out of there!

13 weeks ago

hi

13 weeks ago

Second

13 weeks ago

first!