Very Best Of FMyLife: Disney Edition

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Disney is great because they are a giant unfeeling multinational corporation more concerned with profits than people, But sometimes Disney can be a real bummer too. That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best Disney moments this week!

 

The Plight Of The Underclass

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

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A Healthy Marriage

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

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You Are Scary Person

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

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Tramp Stamps Are Timeless

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

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What The F*ck Is Wrong With Your Best Friend?

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

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Did She Get His Autograph??

Today, I found outthat last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

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Haaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwttttt

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and thisis how we spent our Saturday night. FML

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If It Was The Real Chip And Dale I Understand Your Fear

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

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That Fish Be Fine

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

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