Very Best Of FMyLife: Football Edition

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Football is great because if you play it too much in your twenties it can permanently damage your cerebellum, But sometimes football be a real bummer too, like when you have to play it in a life or death challenge versus your best friend for the fate of the universe. That's where FMylife comes in, collecting the worst moments of our lives, all in one place. Here are some of the best football moments this week!

 

More Like, An Open-Minded Guy

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

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Street Justice Served Cold

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park when I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me so feeling nice I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

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So, Did You Hit?

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

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That's How Most Movies On The Internet Start

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

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Spray Him With Burning Coals

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter since we have a class together. He wrote one day "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny until I realized the date/time was when we have class together and i sit in front of him. FML

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That's Team Spirit

Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML

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Prove Your Mother Right

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

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You Have Good Taste

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

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